my old psych professor used to tell us that wallets are a lot like falling in love: "you need to take care of it, because if you don't, something might just happen to it."

i know what he means. i've lost a wallet before, and recently, just lost a love. you know, it's the exact same thing.

one day, you just realize it's gone. you try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you could have lost it.

you think, and you think hard, only to come upon a grim realization: it's really gone.

of course, you can hold on to some hope. after all, there have been some very, very lucky (blessed?) people who get it back.

perhaps you could become one of those people. you sit home and you hope that someone would call, and that you would get it back. But then, some time passes, and you realize that it's still gone, and you realize that it's time to let go.

the first few days, you turn to your friends for support. some tell you you'll be fine, some tell you that it was your fault and that you should have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences.

they give you all sorts of advices, none you haven't heard before.

you then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don't really want a new one. you want the old one that you lost.no, you don't want all these better-looking wallets, you want yours, because of how comfortable it is, the color, because it was handpicked by you, because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.

so you go out and carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your bag or pocket instead. you throw away stuff that you would have held on to if you had your old wallet. and then, finally, you find a new wallet you kind of like and settle in.

you then start filling your new wallet, little by little. it still doesn't feel as comfortable as the old one, but it's getting there.

then you start putting in your IDs, credit cards, and pictures and other important stuffs in the wallet. soon enough, there's as much stuff in your new wallet as the old one. and then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new wallet.

and then you realize that you've almost forgotten you ever had your old wallet. sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost on that wallet. but then again, you don't remember the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost it.

that's because that wallet you lost is no longer your wallet. you're no longer holding on. this new wallet you're holding, it has all the important cards and pictures and stuffs that you need. this is your wallet.

and this time, you just tell yourself, "i'll never lose this one..." and then you cross your fingers.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 6:40 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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sipiritual reveries (tagalog entry) : I MISS YOU

busy ka?naku mukha nga...tagal na nating di nagkikita ah... tagal mo na akong di dinadalaw... alam mo miss na kita... o, sino yang nagtext sa iyo?... buti pa sa kanya nakapag-reply ka agad.
napansin ko na ang dami mong ginagawa talaga... ang dami mo ring things-to-do diyan sa schedule mo at planner mo ah! mapangarap ka talaga noh?... ang dami mong plano...nakakatuwa naman na malaman yan.

kasama ba ako sa plano mo? ano? naku di ka agad makasagot? sige okay lang alam ko naman kung ano talaga sagot mo... nakita kita nung Friday, aga natapos ng klase/work mo. alam mo ba, ang akala ko pupuntahan mo ako. ooppss! hindi pala! gigimik pala kayo ng mga friends mo.

late ka ng nakauwi ah? alam mo, naghintay ako sa'yo. pagpasok mo sa kuwarto mo, di mo ako napansin... haaay! kawawa ka naman... siguradong kinabukasan masakit ang ulo mo at tanghali ka nagigising. tapos ang dami mo na naman lakad: trabaho, eskuela, gimik, ano ba talaga?
eh ano pala, naghihintay ako na tayo naman ang maging magkasama. kaya lang sa dami ng schedules mo para sa acads at sa labas ng school parang malabo talaga o baka naman subsob ka na naman sa trabaho mo? o niyaya ka na naman ng barkada mo....

o sige na, balik ka na sa pag-aaral mo. or baka kailangan mo nang bumalik sa trabaho mo at baka mapagalitan ka pa ng boss mo. may ginagawa ka pa yatang research. marami ka pa naman yatang aasikasuhin.

may tumatawag pa sai yo sa cellphone mo, tapos may itetext ka pang friend mo. at oo nga pala, magche-check ka pang iba mong mails: snail mail at emails. tapos baka magchat ka pa. tapos baka magkaayayahan pang lumabas. alam mo na, shopping or sine, or kain sa labas.
pasensiya na ha. sorry ha. naabala yata kita. i might be eating too much of your time. maging dahilan pa ako para masira ang plano mo sa araw na ito.

gusto ko lang pa lang sabihin sa'yo na nandito lang ako kapag kailangan mo ako. alam mo na, kapag hindi ka na busy. hindi nga pwera biro! totoo yon! walang biro!

ay, ayaw mong maniwala? ganon kita kamahal kasi! ayaw mo pa ring maniwala?
basta, ano na lang, ito na lang friend, remember this, kahit singit lang ako lagi sa buhay mo, kahit biglaan mo lang na natatawag ako dahil nagulat ka, nasaktan ka, may drama ka sa buhay mo, nauntog ka o dahil part ang pangalan ko nung binabasa mo sa text, YOU will be in my heart always.

basta nga...trials after trials isipin mo kasama mo ako na lumalakad, hindi man sa buhangin, kasama mo pa rin ako as in sa lahat plano mo, kahit hindi mo ako kasama i would like you to know that i am the one perfecting it... para mas maging masaya ka... minsan tayo naman ang mag-usap ha? minsan ako naman ang dalawin mo... miss na talaga kita eh... sige hintay ako, ha? "Sa akin hindi ka singit lang..."

-- JESUS

posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:47 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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posted by pinay freestyle @ 2:50 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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spiritual reveries: SERENITY PRAYER

emotions swirled in my head.
twinges pinches my heart.
amidst my anger and my pain,
i ran into this prayer.
i read it before.
i must have had it somewhere.
i wanted to make a story.
but i could not.
words were hard to find.
i found myself tearing...
sobbing silently...
reminding myself ...
that things will be okay.
and i know that
my Lord will never leave me.
that this is a test...
and so...over and over,
i closed my eyes and let it all go.
i prayed these prayer in my head
...silently.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 2:21 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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NOTE:spiritual reveries is back! in the past i have posted a lot of spiritual musings especially on my personal blogs. but i stopped for a while. i've been going through a lot the past few months. and i am slowly going back to normal --- i owe it from my faith from the one above. He guides me...and He heals my pain...after all, He is the MASTER HEALER. i hope i am not offending anyone while i am posting religious musings. it's my vow to keep my promise to share HIS word. if i'm able to reach to even just a single soul and inspire them, it is enough and i'm satisfied. so enjoy and read!]

at first, i saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things i did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when i die. he was out there sort of like a president. i recognized His picture when i saw it, but i really didn't know him. but later on when I met christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike; and i noticed that christ was in the back helping me pedal. i don't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since.

when i had control, i knew the way. it was rather boring, but predictable. it was the shortest distance between two points. but when He took the lead, he knew delightful long cuts, up mountains and through the rocky places at breakneck speeds. it was all i could do to hang on! even though it looked like madness, He said, "pedal!" i worried and was anxious and asked, "where are you taking me?", he laughed and didn't answer, and i started to learn to trust. i forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. and when i would say, "i'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that i needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. they gave me gifts to take on my journey, too, my Lord's and mine. and we were off again. He said, "give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So i did, to the people we met, and i found that in giving i received, and still our burden was light.

i did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. i thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, knows how to jump to clear high rocks, knows how to fly to shorten the scary passages. and i am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and i'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.

and when i'm sure I can't do anymore, He just smiles and says... "pedal."
dear lord,
life is a matter of a bike race. we have to thread up and down our own mountains and trek through valleys of rights and wrong. lord, remind us that when we are at our most difficult trails, YOU are there. and let us not forget to "PEDAL." because when we reach the end of this journey, we will be in YOUR kingdom. we asked you these in you most precious name. AMEN.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 2:17 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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posted by pinay freestyle @ 3:42 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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the girl in mr glynn's homeroom class

since our last names started with letters C, D, E and we find ourselves in mr. glynn's chaotic and barbaric homeroom class. at first, we hardly talked and then next thing we knew, it was in homeroom that we put our make ups on, freshen up, and beautify. couple weeks after, we were discussing our lovelives and personal issue with each other.

there wasn't a time i can remember i didn't tell her anything. as far as i knew, she knew everything about me. even if i don't feel like opening up, she'll insist that she will be there when i am ready to talk. and i usually open up to her then...now...all the time.

but she never got tired of hearing my dramas. you name it, she must have heard it. from jerks i've dated whom she straight out commented that they did not deserve me, to personal conflicts with my family, to making a fashion statement whether it is shoe, or purse or outfit related, to voo doo and ghost stories and blunt craziness, she listened to me.

she's the one who lives up to the label, "GIRL TALK." we spent so many nights and mornings and emails and phone calls chatting the day away. we talked abotu everything and anything you can think of under the sun. we chatted our days away from inside the public metro bus then when we didn't drive, to a long drive going to and from las vegas, to even airplane calls while i am heading to or from a destination. in strip clubs, in our favortie dance clubs, at church, drunk or sober, we have probably gossipped. LOL. even from the start at mr. glynn's homeroom, we are reprimanded for our talkative behaviors. and it was probably one of our fondest moments.

she knew me at my worst and yet, she never left my side. and if i was at my best, she encouraged me to even be better. she taught me about being strong and keeping my head up high despite my inevitable encounters of downfall. she insisted i love like it was the first time...despite of brokenheartedness. she reminds me that i am beautiful no matter ugly and negative remarks i hear from the sidelines.

she shelters me when i just need to be away and alone from everbody. even if that meant, knocking on her door at 5 in the morning. sometimes, she just gives me the key so i can get in to her house. we've cried over filipino movies and now we're brooding over our latest obsession: korean telenovelas. we're probably the only people in the world who thinks the guys we date should be like the ones in the korean dvd's that we watch: someone who is not afraid to show the girl they're hopelessly inlove with her.

we're probably the weirdest creature there is. we think bobas can make your day especially if you had a day with an assh*le or a b*tch. our cholesterol levels are rising up gulping korean barbeques three to four times a week. we think it is a must that guys have clean shoes, and tappered nails and nice smile in addition to physicality and personality. and if you are asiany looking, that's a bonus.

i can talk about on and on about her. this whole blog file would nto even be enough to discuss how wonderful of a friend has she been to me all these years. but each and every year, i wanted her to know that i am super grateful for having a friend like her who will fight with me with her fist clenched no matter what battles are thrown at me. and that to me is simply heartwarming. it's difficult to have friends like that nowadays.

i could never forget that girl in mr. glynn's homeroom class. she made an unforgettable impact in my life: a constant confidante, a patient listener, a pilar of strength.

MY BEST FRIEND...MAFFI

what can say?

you're moody,

you're stubborn,

you're such a sleepy head,

a even worse, a cry baby

you're uniquely weird like that.

but we LOVE YOU.

you're remarkable attitude on life and love in general touched many. including mines. i really thank you. thank you for the thorns, joys, storms, sunshines we've been through for the past twelve years.

nobody does the best friend thing like you do! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!










12:14 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove


the girl in mr. glynn's homeroom class


the girl in mr glynn's homeroom class
since our last names started with letters C, D, E and we find ourselves in mr. glynn's chaotic and barbaric homeroom class. at first, we hardly talked and then next thing we knew, it was in homeroom that we put our make ups on, freshen up, and beautify. couple weeks after, we were discussing our lovelives and personal issue with each other.

there wasn't a time i can remember i didn't tell her anything. as far as i knew, she knew everything about me. even if i don't feel like opening up, she'll insist that she will be there when i am ready to talk. and i usually open up to her then...now...all the time.

but she never got tired of hearing my dramas. you name it, she must have heard it. from jerks i've dated whom she straight out commented that they did not deserve me, to personal conflicts with my family, to making a fashion statement whether it is shoe, or purse or outfit related, to voo doo and ghost stories and blunt craziness, she listened to me.

she's the one who lives up to the label, "GIRL TALK." we spent so many nights and mornings and emails and phone calls chatting the day away. we talked abotu everything and anything you can think of under the sun. we chatted our days away from inside the public metro bus then when we didn't drive, to a long drive going to and from las vegas, to even airplane calls while i am heading to or from a destination. in strip clubs, in our favortie dance clubs, at church, drunk or sober, we have probably gossipped. LOL. even from the start at mr. glynn's homeroom, we are reprimanded for our talkative behaviors. and it was probably one of our fondest moments.

she knew me at my worst and yet, she never left my side. and if i was at my best, she encouraged me to even be better. she taught me about being strong and keeping my head up high despite my inevitable encounters of downfall. she insisted i love like it was the first time...despite of brokenheartedness. she reminds me that i am beautiful no matter ugly and negative remarks i hear from the sidelines.

she shelters me when i just need to be away and alone from everbody. even if that meant, knocking on her door at 5 in the morning. sometimes, she just gives me the key so i can get in to her house. we've cried over filipino movies and now we're brooding over our latest obsession: korean telenovelas. we're probably the only people in the world who thinks the guys we date should be like the ones in the korean dvd's that we watch: someone who is not afraid to show the girl they're hopelessly inlove with her.

we're probably the weirdest creature there is. we think bobas can make your day especially if you had a day with an assh*le or a b*tch. our cholesterol levels are rising up gulping korean barbeques three to four times a week. we think it is a must that guys have clean shoes, and tappered nails and nice smile in addition to physicality and personality. and if you are asiany looking, that's a bonus.

i can talk about on and on about her. this whole blog file would nto even be enough to discuss how wonderful of a friend has she been to me all these years. but each and every year, i wanted her to know that i am super grateful for having a friend like her who will fight with me with her fist clenched no matter what battles are thrown at me. and that to me is simply heartwarming. it's difficult to have friends like that nowadays.

i could never forget that girl in mr. glynn's homeroom class. she made an unforgettable impact in my life: a constant confidante, a patient listener, a pilar of strength.

MY BEST FRIEND...MAFFI

what can say?

you're moody,

you're stubborn,

you're such a sleepy head,

a even worse, a cry baby

you're uniquely weird like that.

but we LOVE YOU.

you're remarkable attitude on life and love in general touched many. including mines. i really thank you. thank you for the thorns, joys, storms, sunshines we've been through for the past twelve years.

nobody does the best friend thing like you do! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

posted by pinay freestyle @ 2:53 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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my roots and wings

sometimes, i catch myself staring at my dad while he's watching television and i swear, i thought i saw another person who is close to my heart. maybe because this person looked a lot like my father: papa got his slanted eyes, his plastered smile, his balding hair line. not only did my father inherited his handsomely appearance, but my father also inherited his gentle and giving heart.

he's always had a way with people. people crowded his house for each and every town's concern: money, hospitalization, hunger, poverty, land...everything you can think of. but you never heard him complain. he loved helping them. he was destined to do that. it has became his life. all his life. he spent twenty five years serving his fellowmen as a politician. sometimes, giving everything he had only to help others.

he loved his children. i heard he was pretty damn strict. he never let my aunts get out of the house wearing short shorts or any trace of skin. he made sure the men of his family did their chores at the early rise of the sun. yet, he was a well provider. he even raised all his children alone at some point. all 10 of them plus 4 more after. even sending them to college.

but even greater, his granchildren were very dear to him. although his lifetime was placed in lime light, he preferred to have his grandkids be normal and have their own private individual lives. he loved having them over every weekends. he made them run around the his office and never scold them.

he has a study table filled with silver peso coins as he never carried coin in his pockets so he dumped them in his study table. these coins were them either given to the poor or when his grandchildren asked allowances for school.

he was cool sometimes yet oftenly strict.

he was loving, sometimes, too loving.

he supports independence, but he's also overprotective.

he was often misunderstood, but got along fine with everybody.

20 years after he passed away, he is still remembered.

in fact, they even named buildings, streets, establishments in his name.

but i remembered him most because...

he loved his people...

he died loving them too much.

he is adriano l. dela cruz

he is my father's father.

fondly called " LOLO ADRING."

and today is his birthday.

i just wanted to share his legacy. my vibrant personality, my love for people, my desire to share what i have to pther people, my love for the Lord and my family, was the roots he gave to my dad and is now passed on to me. i would not be who i am hadn't he planted the roots.

i remember him saying to me once, " the greatest thing you can give your children is roots and wings." well, lolo, you definitely gave me the roots...now, i am flying with one wings. than you for being such an inspiration. wherever you are, i know you're watching over us and guiding us. for this and more, i'm forever thankful.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:44 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:02 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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IPOD TRIPPING
another ipod infested day listening to nina's heartwrenching sad love song.... watching the rain falling from my window. i wish i was at the beach surfing the waves. this melancholic winter weather reminds me of someone. if you'd like to listen to the songs, please click on their titles.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 4:59 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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plastered with pastel pink and hot red tones, from my favorite ferrerro rocher, to even the los angeles times lifestyle section, to the covers of cosmo magazines, and even cell phone ads...i see hearts every where! valentines is fast approaching. and here yet, another lonesome valentine coming my way. i had this discussion with "mamu" when we had our happiest valentines day. and i smiled vividly. i smiled because there was only one time in my life when i had a joyous valentine. it was unexpected and spontaneous. but memorable and unforgettable, nonetheless. so i tell her the story like i am telling you:

it's been numerous years and i could not remember having a great valentine. it was year 2005 and like the present now, i just came out from another "wished-it-would-work" relationship. but sadly, it didn't. i was dressed in my pinkiest and most hearts patterned scrubs with matching pastel pink birkenstock shoes. and like many times in the past, i made sure i was working on valentines day. at least, that way, i was pre-occupied. i didn't have to think about the idea of all the lovey-dovey sweethearts holding hands and "coupling" their way. and just i had figured out, the twelve hours, seven a.m. to seven p.m. shift went by so quickly. and it was only eight p.m. i found myself on my way home...by myself...

and then the phone rang.

"what are you doing? you're still at work or out?," he asked. i wondered why he was calling me that day. from all i thought, he had work, too and he worked grave yard. apparently, he's not.

"i'm supposed to ask you the same question. what are you doing valentine-less today? you always got your girls following you, " i replied sarcastically with an inquiring question.

i heard a quiet yet obvious giggle on the other line. "i'm free today, eh. just got off school. what's your story?," he explained.

just when i had the urge to tell him my story, i was once again reminded that everyone was trying to hook up that day. and ah, personally, i wanted to go home and sleep the night away. and so i responded, "just came from work. on my way home now and i'll just sleep the night away. i don't want to see another couple holding hands tonight. it's depressing!"

by now, the quiet giggles went into a burst of laughters. he was laughing at me and quickly replied, "i don't want to hear any of yoru depressing thoughts and your sad love stories. you're going to suck me into getting sad, too. why don't i pick you up or why don't we just drop your car somewhere and we ride in my car and how about we be each other's valentines dates? i'll take you to dinner. my treat....how's that to relieve your "i'm so sad, i'll just sleep the valentines day away" symptoms?"

before i can even reply to his offer, he already made up his mind that he was going to pick me up anyway, regardless if i agreed 'yes' or 'no' to his invitation. next thing i knew, i was riding inside his shiny black toyota celica in his silky leathered seats sitting side by side with him in his car. i didn't know where we were heading. i was more concerned about me still wearing my scrubs and looking so crappy on valentines day with my best guy friend.

"so where are you taking me? we didn't even make any reservations. you know how today's valentines day and most of the restaurants are fully booked?" i asked him. and he just smiled back at my query.

"you worry about everything. you're too paranoid. just chill and relaxed," he commented confidently. "what are you craving for anyway?," he added.

"mexican or spanish or anything south american cuisine. i'm just tired of american food, " i uttered back.

"your wish is my command. mexican it is, ms. attitude, " he remarked.

we found ourselves driving on the outskirts, busy streets of pasadena. we were on arroyo parkway going east towards oldtown pasadena. and i remembered making a right turn on this spanish inspired parking lot. even the parking attendant was wearing a sombrero and greeted us with a welcoming, "HOLA!"and all i thought of was, "yup, we're definitely in a latin restaurant."

i was reminded of southwestern texas upon entering the doorway or my summers spent at palm springs where the brightly colored interior was made of brown bricks and terra cota hues of reddish brown. there's was a huge working clay molded fountain meeting you on your way.as you enter the concierge, you noticed that all the carved furnitures were made out of old wood but shiny and glittery varnished. it was breath taking. for a minute, i thought i was actually in spain or mexico.

i was surprised it was not busy yet. while we were waiting to be seated, he held my hand. he held my hands before it was nothing like that night. perhaps, we were just infatuated with the idea that it was valentines day and though, we weren't couples, it does not mean we can not act like one. i guess by holding my hands like he never did before, it gives other people that idea that we are a couple.

spamished love songs were played in the speakers. we were seated in the west side of the room with the bricked wall overlooking the arch, high, ceilings and with a view of the romantic lit fireplace on the other end of the room. while waiting for our orders, we were given nachos and dip to munch on. he even ordered a strawberry daiquiri for me and he had pina colada.

soon, we feasted on mexican delights. i enjoyed my healthy taco salad for appetizer . later came my newly cooked smoky carnitas wrapped in a flour tortilla and spanish beans plate with mexican chicken quesadilla and mexican rice. he had a hearty torilla soup appetizer and order the house special succulent beef enchilada and with the same side orders as mine.

while we were enjoying our meal, the spanish mariachi band started playing and rounding the restaurants. i remembered laughing because it was such a surprise that they had a mariachi band there playing romantic songs for the couples. to make it sweeter, i guess. and strangely, i found that romantically inspired.

then next thing i knew the band was right in front of our table and playing their version of "besa me mucho". see, i knew this song because my friend tony always sang this song on the karaoke and i know it was julio iglesias who made it famous. and he, my companion, laughed at my reaction while i turned red from embarrassment. one of the band member sang solo and the rest played their musical instruments.

to my surprise, the soloist handed him, my date that night, a single red rose while still rending me their spanish love song. and even if he was giggling, he held my hand one more time and handed me the rose. and i remembered looking at his eyes then and staring at his smile for the first time, i forgot about that day being valentines. i just remembered being flaoting in the air and feelling happy.

on our way home, in his car, he held my hand. no words were said. just the sound of the radio playing love songs...again...and there, driving on the 110 south freeway, we just held hands. it was sweet. i never felt this way for him before. but i would have like to thank him without being labelled as "mushy" for the unforgettable evening.

in front of our house, he opened my side of the door, assisted me gently while i get out of the door, and close the door, and i uttered, " well, i'll give it to you tonight, i never thought of you would be this romantic of a date, but well, you swept me off my feet tonight. and you are! no wonder the girls are going crazy about you and.....so thank you...."

just when i was about to continue with my thank you speech, he had his arms around me. he hugged me so tight. i felt so much warmth in his body. no words were said. i huuged him back. yeah. in the middle of the street, we just held on to each other as if it was our own world.

minutes later, "thanks for a wonderful evening. i had so much fun." i commented again. and i kissed him good night on the cheek. then i walked away. i could not sleep that night. i've been friends with this guy for eight years. i was not suppose to feel that way. but one thing was for sure, i fell in love with my best friend that night. and everyone knew we were ineseparable then.

it's been one year since i last spent time with him. and i still think about him once in a while. i have moved on since, also. i haven't heard of any news of him. and perhaps, it was right that way. not because i chose to let go of him and forget him does it mean i let go of our memories. he and i...we had made great memories. how can you forget a person who gave you the happiest valentines ever? no one has surpass that.

one day...when i fall in love again, when my dreams will come, i hope he can surpass that.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 10:06 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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posted by pinay freestyle @ 6:25 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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Malungkot.Masaya.ManadawSaAkingAma.ManarindawSaAkingIna.
MinsanMatiGasAngUlo.Maganda.MabaitPagTuloG.MaBarkdada.
MaRaMingKakosa.MahiligMagpAtawa.Mabango.
MinSanMaaRte.MatandaMagisip.MainiPIn.MapagMahal.
Maunawain.MaAruga.Mahinahon.Makulet.MahiyainDAW?.
MaLaKasAngLooB.MaPUsok.MasarapMagmahal.MaDalDal.
Malusog.MapagIsip.MasInop.Malinis.Matiyaga.
MinsanMahirapMinsanMayaman.MaPagIsipatMaDalasTulala.
MadalasWaLaSaBahay.IMaHiliGMaGBasa.
MaHiliGMagSUlat.MaHiligKumaNta.MaaLaHaHanin.
IkaW? AnOng "M" ka?

posted by pinay freestyle @ 7:49 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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LIFE IS LIKE.....

posted by pinay freestyle @ 7:02 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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trial and error

today, while cogitating and watching raindrops fall from my misty window though the freezing winter rain, i automatically went to critical thinking mode and lingered on my personal contemplations. weeks ago, i realized some things in life just don't go the way you desired them to or the way you think wishfully they should. but then again, you can't dwell on these lost loves and missed chances because you'll miss out on other wonderful waiting opportunities.

so if there's anything, i'd say, don't give up on something you love, someone you cared about, some things you've dreamt of just because you don't think things will work. for in reality, you really won't know unless you, yourself, risk it all and give it a try. win or lose, in the end, you knew in your heart, you tried.

but other hand, i caution you and don't hold onto something that left a long time ago or someone who could not fight for what they feel for you. you can't wait for something you knew was not worthied in the first place. because sooner or later, you will realize some things just aren't meant to be. yet, you move on with life and appreciate all its defining glory. and oh, it was not your loss so keep your head up high.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 9:43 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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currently listening on the ipod....memories just started popping out again. he used to sing this to me all the time. sometimes, i find myself listening to it on my voicemail because he left it there. but like i said, oh well, sometimes things just can not be the way it is. and the best is to leave each other alone. but just for old time's sake...i'll post the lyrics. and if you want to listen to it, go here.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 1:16 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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