Friday, October 14, 2005
SPIRITUAL REVERIES: the gift wrapped inside the tissue cloth

Lola Alba is characterized often for her being bluntly honest. She defined a true activist who voices out the "truth" towards people and their dishonesties. She was an intellectual politics major who reigned in university of the philippines during her time marching against her grievances with the marcos government. She was a church leader,a christian advocate, a community activist and spokesperson.... she was a leader and a fighter all the way.

Despite Lola's strong characteristics around her peers and colleagues, for us, Lola was a grandma who sang church songs with the choir. She rarely missed a day of serving the Lord whether it was ont he conferences of at th church or with the commnity. She loved God and devoted her life serving HIM. She was someone who was uniquely opinionated but who knew what battles to fight. She was a atypical lola who genuinely loved her family. Above all, she was a survivor as she battled cancer on and off discreetly not showing any signs of weakness through it all.

That's my Lola Alba Eugenio-Bacheldeer. Sadly, Lola (Grandma) Alba passed away in her sleep last week on her way to another Christian conference ( whom she devoted her life for) last week in Las Vegas. No instructions were told. She left so suddenly. But I know in my heart she is with the Lord.

One part of the funeral service was an open eulogy for Lola. Everyone spoke about Lola's aggressive feitiness about issues she meddled with. A few spoke of her love for the Lord. Ate Bel, my elder sister, fought that she was a well loved and dedicated activist who defined strength and character. And the stories about Lola continued on.

But one eulogy struck my head. A particular female slightly teary and holdng her compusure stood up the podium and she described Lola Alba as argumentative inside conference meetings whom she always conflicted with being the leader of the organization. But she also counter argued that outside the walls of the meetings, Lola was a good friend. She told us about Lola Alba's recent gift to her: a bracelet folded in some kind of tissue textured soft cloth. She stated that as Lola gave it to her, she instructed her to read, "REVELATION 21:1-4. "

This particular collegue of Lola never told us about what these bible verses was all about. She went out about praising Lola's strong headed personality. However, she ended her testimony differently as she unlikely instructed us to read REVELATION 21: 1-4 as Lola instructed her to do so. She ended her eulogy telling us, That's your assignment tonight: revelation 21: 1 -4."
I went home and I thought about what she told us that night. Her instructions triggered in my head. Days passed by and I only remembered what she told us to do again today as I started browsing bible verses online. Out oif curiosity, I read the book of Revelation ( the last book ont he new testament) chapter 21 verses 1 to 4. And it read:

RevelationChapter 21

1
1 Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2
2
I also saw the holy city, a new Jerusalem, 3 coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
3
I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, God's dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people 4 and God himself will always be with them (as their God).
4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, (for) the old order has passed away."

I sighed as I finished reading the scripture. Lola never left us intructions. She died in the midst of her battle with cancer. Through it all, it was not an open topic that she had cancer. Cancer was a small battle compared to all the tasks she bravely tackled. But upon reading Revelation 21:1-4, it made me realized that Lola Alba had a message.
She wanted to tell us she was in "another heaven." The "loud voice" was the new choir of angels she will belong to . The Lord finally took her in. The last verse of the said gospel clearly manifested she was "painfree" for the "Lord wipe the tears" and the "mourning will cease."
Lola never told us any instructions but her message to us was that she was out of pain ( with the pain she hid secretly to many whether it was emotionally related or physical struggles) That she is done with her fight with life's battles. This time, she surrended it all to the LORD. This was her time to finally rest. To her, this was the last stretch from the long fight. Battle is over. She is done and now, she is now going 'HOME" in her FATHER's arms.

{WE will miss you Lola Alba...We will see you there in our Father's arm.]


Wednesday, October 12, 2005
NOTE: i adapted this from ate paulizzia's page....it was so meaningfully sad. i think i felt that pain...

you are the air that I breathe, my eyes when I cant see, my strength when all is down upon me, my haven when I feel scared and lost, my sanity when everything around me is driving me crazy, you are my everything and my life without you I wouldnt know how I can go about my life. I see my future with you and your future with mine.

In a cynical world such as ours, you can never trust the person sitting right next to you or the person holding your hand that person can either be your salvation or the first one to bury you down to your early grave...

I expected myself to be better...the saddest part..i failed myself

I believe
We shouldnt let the moment pass us by
Life's too short
We shouldnt wait for the water to run dry

Think about it
Cause we only have one shot at destiny
All im asking
Could it possibly be you and me?

So if you'd still go, i'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you'll stay, ill hold your hand
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Time has come
For us to go our separate ways
God forbid
But my mind is going crazy today

I feel so cold
Feel so numb
Im having nightmares but im awake
Help me lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away

So if you'd still go, i'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to?
And if you'll stay, ill hold your hand
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

Now that you're gone,
im all alone
Im still hoping that you would come back home
Dont care how long,
but im willing to wait
Cause im truly, madly, crazily in love with you

MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


::EMAIL ME @ AOL::
:: EMAIL ME @ GMAIL
::FACEBOOK::
::AOL IM: XLENDCX::
::yahoo: YM::
::MYSPACE::
PREVIOUS POSTS
Morning and Mourning Weeps
6 years.
2017 updates
I'm getting married!
ENGAGED!
3 years
To That Person I Fell In Love With When the Timing...
Beginnings
Reflection: $100 PER HOUR
Spiritual Reverie: BETTER THAN I


DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
::joyce::
::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
::christine::

ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
::sanamluang::
::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
::yahoo::
::ask::
::photobucket::
::blogger::

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