Saturday, July 30, 2005
GRATEFUL BIRTHDAY GIRL!
Early this morning, I decided to text everyone who extended their greetings to me. But I felt that I was not able to reach everyone through the cell so I wanted to rewrite what I sent on the text here so everyone can actually read it. So without any further ado, here it is:

{SENT THROUGH TEXT JUYL 30, 2005--MORNING AFTER--this is the longer version}
Party's over. 30 phone calls. 25 birthday texts. 29 birthday emails. 15 missed call on my cell. 20 visitors or more (maybe I could not cound right)who came to my house. Phew. Life has added another digit to my age. But now that I am older, I think I am beginning to realize what really matters most: the peopel who were threre for me NO MATTER WHAT.A year older and the mores I valued the connections I made with other people.

There's Eloisa who has been the longest friend since kindergarten who I had an "away-bati" relationship.

Some of whom I met and played with in grade school in St. Mary's like Princess, Odessa and Sharon. Friendships that blossomed from a seed to a full blown flower.

Janice and Rossini whom since junior high at King Middle School up to now never forget to keep in touch. Janice accepted me who I was then and what I am now. Whatever I was then, she showed me friendship knew no color.

In Los Angeles High School, I met a wonderful friend in Maffi who contimued to stand right next to me THEN and NOW despite of all the live's drama. This girl's my fighter! Defiinitely one of the best!

At Ross, I bumped into the company of Diane (Praise the Lord!) and Charm ( The Ilongga Blondie), two of the people who reminds me where I came from and keeps my feet firm on the ground (Thank you for the good old days of karaoke, clubs and ghost stories).

My friends in nursing school made it easier: Tony- what whould the days be without you when Ms. Austin is yelling her lunatic ass off in RN Med Surg class? You are such a trooper! Thank you for the nights at Sanamluang and the morning dawn at USC library where we try to study out rear ends off. Mickey- I miss you. I wish you weren't in the army. Steve-you'll always be a little brother to me. Elma-thank you for the fun times in LVN school.

Ate Lu, Ate Ems," Meyah", Miss Wah (Ate Farah), "Miss Fabulous" ( Ate Jen), "aling Siyoni ( Ate Weng), Ate Lamban--og ( Ate Weenie), The Financial Advisor ( Manang Patti) whom not only I learned precious skills ang expertise at work but also whom I developed closedknit friendship from work---You guys makes work less stressful and fun!

To all the men I loved before---you know who you are---you taught me the greatest lesson of love: to love and let go because it makes the other person happy.

My pals -Ricky - thnak you for the advices on love and life, Rich- for listening to me all the time even though you are bored. Angelo- for being bluntly honest!

My cousins are extraordinaryly wonderful! Nini-Thank you for the giggles and the tears. Aileen-thank you for looking up to me! Ate Ral- your laughters makes my day! thank you for laughing with me. Kuya SAL-your story has been very inspiring to me. Ate Quey- thank you for babying me and checking on me here and there.

ALBERT - AB--thank you for catching me each time I fall. Thank you for the lunch at work, for crying with me when my heart is aching. Thnak you for being the WIND BENEATH MY WINGS. Muah!

My lovely loyal siblings: Ate Bel-you're dedication to love, life, career and family is incomparable. I salute you. Long-you're my shopping buddy, my playmate when we were young, my confidante, our clown! I am glad you're back to sanity! Noreenieee-Our relationship took a huge leap from being sisters to best friends. I enjoy my moments with you eventhough I "bitch" a lot. LA-you're our baby..yet, you inspire all of us with all the achievements you made! I am a proud sister! YOU ARE THE REASON WHY I BETTER MYSELF EVERYDAY!

To niece Ischa and nephew Ichad---Tita Len is here no matter what! I love you.

Auntie Vickz- you are awesome! Not only are you my shopping buddy but also my you are also my second mom! Thank you!

PAPA BERT0-you are the coolest popeye! You taught me everything about life. Whoever I am today, it was because of the love and care you gave me. I love yah papa!

MAMA BELEN-the strictest mom in the world! You shaped me to be the person I am today. You accepted my flaws and embraced me during the toughest times of my life. Your dedication to tough love worked for me. I thank you for that! I love you 'my!

For the people at church, thank you for the endless prayers.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!

you are all the ICING on my LIFE's CAKE.

Lastly, to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, YOU gave me this life.Thank you. Let me use it according to YOUR will and purpose. Use me in a way that I can inspire others. I GIVE THE GLORY BACK TO YOU.


Friday, July 29, 2005
songs of my heart
:::for you:::

I'D RATHER
I'd Rather
Luther Van Dross

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt
more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to findout if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone
and thought she could replace youwe got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better nowa
nd I've had a change of hear

tI'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heartwho holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,
I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)
I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart



yeah it's you

yeah, it's you.
i miss YOU.
the cad in a black toyota celica with a high polished gloss car wax.
the one who runs on the streets late at night for his every night jog.
the one i call "obessive compulsive" because he overdo every "cleaning sesions he had
the boy whose love for his mom is everlastingly loyal.
the boy who cried from the movie "walk to remember" because he remembered the death of his exgirlfriend
the only guy who immeadiately comes to my rescue NO MATTER what i get myself into.
the guy who i sometimes label "gay" because he has feminine attributes and behavior. {i really hope you're just metrosexual}
the man who was willing to watch a movie with me at 3 in the afternoon when we had the theatres to ourselves.
the man who brings me and my work palsy lunch at work.
the boy who gives me back massage when i complaine dof back aches.
the one who undo the heart when a cad breaks my heart.
yeah, it's you
the one i consider one of my best friend,
it's you....
[you know who you are]
i miss you



HOME

Home
Micheal Buble

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people
IStill feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and fla
tAnd you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far
from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people
IStill feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home

Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


::EMAIL ME @ AOL::
:: EMAIL ME @ GMAIL
::FACEBOOK::
::AOL IM: XLENDCX::
::yahoo: YM::
::MYSPACE::
PREVIOUS POSTS
Morning and Mourning Weeps
6 years.
2017 updates
I'm getting married!
ENGAGED!
3 years
To That Person I Fell In Love With When the Timing...
Beginnings
Reflection: $100 PER HOUR
Spiritual Reverie: BETTER THAN I


DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
::joyce::
::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
::christine::

ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
::sanamluang::
::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
::yahoo::
::ask::
::photobucket::
::blogger::

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