Tuesday, August 27, 2002
eagle

i read this from an article today.

" life...is like being an eagle. you need to learn how to fly. pehaps, fall once or twice or even more...but then you get up, soar back up and fly again..."

based on that anecdote, the past few days have been scarcely harsh to me. i can say those were the days when i just fell...on the ground. i fell because my wings were not brave enough to fight through the strong winds that kept pushing me in downward direction---or perhaps, it was the people who rejoices each time i fall or each time i am hurt. and my fault is because i let them.

well, i am learning how to fly again. i am learning how to brave these strong breeze. i am learning to fight back and proving these people wrong. that I AM AN EAGLE in my own way. one day, i will spread my long wings and they will see how much i had grown. they will notice that their criticisms build my courage to fly....fly higher.

and yes, there will be times when i will fall again. but rest assured that with every fall i take, a stronger me will arise, a new found strength will evolve, a fierce and feisty len will fight you to the end.

so for all the haters, watch out.

this eagle is on her way.


Monday, August 19, 2002
i just noticed i post so much drama here.

so i guess, this entry will serve as a little relief.

note: this is solely for humor and it is not meant to offend anyone of their color. please also take in regard that the two people involved in this conversation came from the particular races they were "making 'humor' of.

collaboration of two races

len: hey boy, what is it with koreans? they're so stuck with their own people? i have korean friends and all but they're the ones who are open minded.

ron: hey, excuse you. what is it with filipinos? they are so uncivilized. they eat with their hands and all. that's so unsanitary. at least koreans are more educated and intelligent.

len: educated? excuse you? did i just hear you say educated? at least, we, filipinos, speak and understand english. your people, even if they lived here in america for thousands of years, they still hang on to their language and not adopt to the culture here.

ron: because we are proud of our culture, we do not need to make changes.

len: oh hell no. not if you are in america. and please, we eat with our hands sometimes, but damn, we wash our hands, too , you know. there is such thing as "water" in the philippines. at least, we do not eat that stinky and spicy "kimchi." i don't even knwo how you eat that thing with every meal.

ron: i don't care. filipinos, they eat with their hands. and those other filipinos that i knew who just came from the philippines, they do nto understand a thing i say, okay.... [ i react] wait...i'm not done yet. ....[roll my eyes] that's it. no more argument. i won.

len : oh hell no.

ron: uh-uh. shut it, baby.

[we laughed]

len: it's funny how we make fun of our own race and yet, i hang around with koreans and you with filipinos.

ron: because filipinos are real that's why.

len: what? you were just making fun of us. infairness though, you love our food.

ron: and you want to be like us.

len: eww. that's it. end of these~!

[side note: for your information: len is filipino while ron is korean. len has majority korean friends. ron has majority filipino friends.]

i swear, we are such a weird couple.




Wednesday, August 14, 2002
how many more times will i numb the hurt?

just....

how many more times will i ignore the pain i feel?

most of the time, i can.

last night, i told him to leave...

just... so... i can breath.



Wednesday, August 07, 2002
magic

i liked him a lot. i really did. he was wonderful in every way possible. i was not ready for a relationship then. i was torn apart from a previous relationship. i could not love the way i can. i was not ready for another heartbreak. he, my friend, was not prepared this unexpected feelings either. he, like me, was scared. but he felt that if he did not say anything, and took that chance to tell me what he felt, he might lose me.

a year ago, a very good friend of mine, stuttered as he said, "i love you" to me for the first time. he said i gave him hope and i inspire him in so many ways he could not explain. he said he gets his hope and strength from me. he mentioned i was "a precious jewel every hunter wants to find."

in short, for two souls who were not ready to commit or to love, the magic called love took place. from friendship, a love bloomed, a love that is , until this very day, is constantly surviving every battle as it comes its way. i did not believe in destiny or fate. so did he. but fate and destiny made us believe in them . we are now a product of it.

that friend was ron.

and today is our one year anniversary.

i always say " love comes at the least moment we expect it." all along, my prince ( my peasant, rather) was there. and yet, i was too hurt to see it. i have my knight and shining armor, reayd to defend me in any battle of life and love. he calls me , "my highness " or "his princess. this is our story.

believe in love. there is magic. there will be someone who will make your life sparkle.

to me , that someone is ron.

ron, i love you, 'be. happy one year anniversary.





Thursday, August 01, 2002
missing him

yesterday, i cried to ron. like the other times, it's for the same reason: i love him so much it hurts. i wish i can tell you what's going between us. but i can't. i must keep that to myself and to the peopel close to ron. it's just difficult beng away from the one you love when yopu are used to having them around everyday. funny how my mother is being so lenient with my relationship with him.

i learned to disregard and cover my ears whenever loc or my other friends discourage me of pursuing my relationship. but people who are dear and close to me advised me to "hang on" just like said. it's just everything right now is "on hold" until ron gets back. and i can't wait for that moment.

ron has been depressed the last few days. and i am, too.

i cried to him because i mised him. and we argued about something so silly. ron made me talk to hjis friend because he could nto hold his tears. i talked to steff for what it seemed like hours. he guaranteed ron loves me...and he, like me, never stopped loving me. it's just....he's away right now. he said that i inspire ron...and i give him hope and i make him smile and laugh. and though, hsteff uttered, that ron acts "too macho" or "too ghetto" professing his love for me, he is crazy about me because it's ALWAYS me he talks about.

i cried even more.

not because i am hurt...but because....i terribly missed him.

ahh....

we'll get through this, baby, we'll get through this....i am not going anywhere.



birthday escapades

i wanted to talk about my birthday. but there were too many places and escapades to discuss. and plus, i didn't want to blab too much. so here, i ' ll just post the places and write briefly about what i did [perhaps, i can link you to the places i went to].

july 27, 2002, saturday
*justin's baptism ( my godson)
* reception at newtown buffet at burbank, california
[i saw old friends from all the way in high school. it's funny how it was so much like high school reunion. ]

then with charm....
*shop at beverly center in beverly hills
[charm paid for everything i shoppedm she even wouldn't let me take out a single dollar on my wallet. thanks, charm]
* toni roma's restaurant, beverly hills, ca.
[charm insisted that we had dinner here. then i found out that my other friends were there waiting for me. apparently, they all pitched in for the dinner. again, i didn't spend a single cent.]

after the dinner...
* headed to redondo beach at this asian club named "chiller's."
[my friend from DMK productions hooked us all up with free drinks all night looooong. as you can imagine, i was drunk. i couldn't even drive home.]

july 28, 2002 sunday
mickey and sheila planned this trip. so we went here

*at santa barbara
we shopped at * el paseo and had lunch there.
then invaded the cabrillo beach at carpinteria state beach in carpinteria

oh yeah, i did....SURFING AND GLIDING!!!! my body hurts.

july 29, 2002
my birthday, monday
@ 2 am: i saw loc at the hospital. i had a fight with my sis and loc calmed me down. thank you loc!
@ 5 am: a surprise happy birthday was given to me. my phone kept ringing perhaps, a gazillion times!!!! all of ron's friends i mean, ALLLL
were calling to say happy birthday to me because "ron said."
@6 amL i was thirsty, i went and got water. as i opened the fridge, there was a birthday cake there. awww. from my sister.
@ 12 pm: my brothers and my cousins invaded my room and filled me with gifts...i mwan tons of them! mom and pops gave me $$$$ hehhe.
@ 8 pm: my bestfriends charm and dianne showed with their kids and it was a quite dinner with my close friends and family. we karaoke'd the night away!!!!!
@ 2 am THE NEXT DAY: ron called to say he loved me and happy birthday.

AWww...

truthfully....

i had an awesome day.

thank you for all the peeps who made me special.

me love ya'll.




MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


::EMAIL ME @ AOL::
:: EMAIL ME @ GMAIL
::FACEBOOK::
::AOL IM: XLENDCX::
::yahoo: YM::
::MYSPACE::
PREVIOUS POSTS
Morning and Mourning Weeps
6 years.
2017 updates
I'm getting married!
ENGAGED!
3 years
To That Person I Fell In Love With When the Timing...
Beginnings
Reflection: $100 PER HOUR
Spiritual Reverie: BETTER THAN I


DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
::joyce::
::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
::christine::

ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
::sanamluang::
::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
::yahoo::
::ask::
::photobucket::
::blogger::

ARCHIVES
03/01/2001 - 04/01/2001
04/01/2001 - 05/01/2001
05/01/2001 - 06/01/2001
06/01/2001 - 07/01/2001
07/01/2001 - 08/01/2001
08/01/2001 - 09/01/2001
09/01/2001 - 10/01/2001
10/01/2001 - 11/01/2001
11/01/2001 - 12/01/2001
12/01/2001 - 01/01/2002
01/01/2002 - 02/01/2002
02/01/2002 - 03/01/2002
03/01/2002 - 04/01/2002
04/01/2002 - 05/01/2002
05/01/2002 - 06/01/2002
06/01/2002 - 07/01/2002
07/01/2002 - 08/01/2002
08/01/2002 - 09/01/2002
09/01/2002 - 10/01/2002
10/01/2002 - 11/01/2002
11/01/2002 - 12/01/2002
12/01/2002 - 01/01/2003
01/01/2003 - 02/01/2003
02/01/2003 - 03/01/2003
03/01/2003 - 04/01/2003
04/01/2003 - 05/01/2003
05/01/2003 - 06/01/2003
06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
08/01/2003 - 09/01/2003
10/01/2003 - 11/01/2003
11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
01/01/2011 - 02/01/2011
04/01/2011 - 05/01/2011
05/01/2011 - 06/01/2011
06/01/2011 - 07/01/2011
07/01/2011 - 08/01/2011
08/01/2011 - 09/01/2011
09/01/2011 - 10/01/2011
10/01/2011 - 11/01/2011
03/01/2012 - 04/01/2012
05/01/2012 - 06/01/2012
06/01/2012 - 07/01/2012
08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012
10/01/2012 - 11/01/2012
11/01/2012 - 12/01/2012
12/01/2012 - 01/01/2013
01/01/2013 - 02/01/2013
05/01/2013 - 06/01/2013
06/01/2013 - 07/01/2013
08/01/2013 - 09/01/2013
09/01/2013 - 10/01/2013
10/01/2013 - 11/01/2013
11/01/2013 - 12/01/2013
12/01/2013 - 01/01/2014
01/01/2014 - 02/01/2014
02/01/2014 - 03/01/2014
05/01/2014 - 06/01/2014
06/01/2014 - 07/01/2014
11/01/2014 - 12/01/2014
02/01/2017 - 03/01/2017
05/01/2017 - 06/01/2017
06/01/2017 - 07/01/2017
Current Posts