It's the time of the year to be thankful....]

HAPPY TURKEY Day!!!

I am home for the Holidays here in Los Angeles. And boy, Am I glad!? I miss my family and friends so bad. Right now, I am waiting for friends to flock my house. It's weird how they have to designate a schedule to see me. Wow, I feel important. But really, I love these people to death. I value my family so much and I cherish my friendships. I am grateful for the portions of treasured memories they have contributed in my life. Without them, my life is probably black and white.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me a wonderful family who supports me in my every endeavor in life. I thank you for the close friendships I made. Bless them and keep them safe, Oh Lord, for they are all special to me.

Thank you for mom's persistent protection and consistent advices, it made me work hard and succeed.
Thank you for Papa's generosity and undying concern, it inspire me even more.
Thank you for my ate Bel's loving care and for our petty fights, it made me stronger
Thank you for my brother Long's humor and support, he makes me enjoy life.
Thank you for Noreene's sisterly love and weirdness, though she doesn't say, I know she loves me.
Thank you for my brother LA's talents and patience, I am glad he looks up to me.
Thank you for my Nephew Ichad's intelligence and charm, I have one more to care for.
Thank you for my niece Ischa's sweetness and innocence, guide her and keep her safe.

Thank you for my boyfriend and my bestfriend, RON, for supporting my endeavors and my dreams, for understanding my purpose in life, and for loving me and for loving me even more when times are rough. I hope to always give him hope and assure him that I am here for him, too.

Thank you for Auntie Lu, Auntie Vicks for being my second mom
Thank you for Cousin Geng, Itin, Hannah, Albert, Leah, Ate Ral, Ate Raquel and Jun who are not only family but also became like my brothers and sisters.

Thank you for my friends....
Charmaine for teaching me to always make people laugh (clubbing!!!! AND MORE),
Maffi for making me stong when I am weak, I knwo I can count on her always(tOO MANY MEN, TOO LITTLE TIME)
, Eloisa for a life long friendship...since pre school GOSH....thats a long time~!
Mickey for his humor=== BadinG,
Steve for his ghettoness--scuba steve, jollibee,
Ben for his sweetness and kindness,
Sheila for being there when I am in need,
Diane for keeping me under her prayers,
Janet for making me smile~ bacterial girl,
Joy for makign Chemistry and BIology a little easy to handle,
Megan for her concern....
Atre CArol for all her motherly advices...
Elmo, Mng. Lot, Lotte 2, Leo, Max, for teaching me how to forgive.

Thank you for the followong people who crossed my life....
Zig, who taught me how to love....
Glenn who taught me how to love and let go.
Vince, who taught me that we can't have it all....
Mikee, who taught me that exes can be good friends, too

To the rest, I failed ot mention here, please know that I am grateful for everythign you have done in my life. I appreciate it.

What about you? what are you thankful for?

posted by pinay freestyle @ 5:42 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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100th day....and surviving

in korean customs, the 100th day of any occassion, is remarkable. besides the annual anniversaries, the 100th day is recognized and celebrated.

today, november15,2001, is my 100th day with ron. he called me at 4 in the morning to remind me that he loved me and loves me more everyday and that he is sorry that he has been busy with work,school, and family priorities that he has not been spending time with me .i said, i understood.

dear ron,
for all that you had been....
for all that you are....
for all that you will ever be...
HAPPY 100th DAY, i love you.
i am looking forward to more days , perhaps, years, with you.
i will be right by your side.

love,
len

posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:27 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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oh yeah, my friend ELOISA, who was my friend all he way back frompre school, is here in the US. HELLO ELOISA!!! miss yah girl. i'llseeyou soon.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:17 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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i was home in los angeles for the veterans day weekend. i got back here on monday night. didn't do muich there. i figured i needed time to spend quality time with my family and friends because i miss them terribly.and i did. i went to universal city walk with my siblings, i took my sister noreene and my baby brother LA to eat, i spent time bugging my brother long and annoying the hell out of him to let me use his car so i can go visit my friends and perhaps, be with my beb. i had my long chats with charmaine, my bonding time with my goddaughter kayla, went persimmon picking with papa, chatted with noreene about herlife, visited ate ral's new baby, chatted with cousin geng, firends sheila and janet, i saw ben...who is drunk as usual. overall, it was good that as i left LA, i started tearing and told my mom and papa to leave me alone because i didn't want them to see me cry. but i cried and they saw it. i hate it here now. just ahh..i miss everyone in LA.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:15 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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incoherent blahs...random quests...still seeking for answers...ahhh however and whatever you wanna take it!

rrrr. i'm irritated. i have been irritated. there's so much things i need to solve. some things i can't mention here and would rather leave it confidential. but the ones i can discuss, i will talk about now.

*scenario 1*

motherly concern?

what would you do ifyour mom found out that you are with someone and you never told her and now, she confronts you to tell the truth (and you want to) but you are not quite ready for it? well, that's what happened to me. my strict, overprotective mother asked me who is this "supportive boyfriend" my auntie lu talked about?

for a minute, i was contemplating whether i should completely deny ron or just tell her what's really going on. let's say, i don't tell her. i knwo for sure i willbe accuse of lying. and plus, she already found out anyway because my aunt who i thought can keep her mouth close just burned me out. i will be yelled at. and if i do tell her, she will confront me with open ended questions that will require extensive anwers.

well, i told her the truth. and yep, i was right. i was attacked, more like, i was bombarded with questions like, "how did you meet him?, " "is he filipino?," "does he go to college?," "what is he taking?,"" how is his family?" rrr. just plain irky. so i go into details answering, "his name is ron, i met him from a friend in school, he's korean, he goes to college majoring in criminal law (she asked,"what is criminal law?"), he wants to be a lawyer, his mom is a registered nurse" and so forth and so on.

then she goes further, " are you sure he loves you?" " how do you know?" " are you sure he's serious?" "are you just using him for a rebound?" "whatever happen to glenn, that guy from hawaii? what about mickey, who's ben? who's steve?" "is this guy, what's his face, ron, the reason why you are going back here in los angeles?"

as you see...it's getting annoying. well, i answered politely and inform her all the things she needs to know. but ahh..it hasn't stop. good thing it was getting late at night so i had to go. but i bet cha she will put meon check. i am sure she will bug me to meet ron so she can "check " him out and "interview" (actually, grillhim!!!, ron calls it, "electric chair") him herself.

which brings me to ...

*scenario 2*

boyfriend fright...scared or too macho to admit it?

after not being able to talk to ron for a long time ( a week), i told him about this situation with my momma. and he starts freakin' out. now, he told me to convince my mom not to call his house, or why did i tell my mom?or to make up some other excuse....so he can't be confronted...because according to him,"it's my mom" (referring to me) that we are talking about.

what?! i explained that this was a circumstance beyond my control. and that if by any chance, my mother decides it was time to get to know him, then i have no control over it. i cautioned him to prepare himself for big time grilling and that to remind him that my mother is actually nice (to other people....not me...LOL) as long as he is polite and as long as he is himself.

well, out conversation is cut off because ron's brother just came home and ron is suppose to be "grounded." so i have yet to concluse this story.

*scenario 3*

insecure wife, marriage with no trust.

rememebr my friend lance whom i mentioned on my previos entries just thsi month? well, his wife..or the mother of his kids called me, yelling hysterically, assuming (not even asking if i was or not) i was lance's "other girl." i swear she is a freak. i mean she is 26 or 27 years old and she acted like a 13 years old screaming on top ofher lungs asking me who the hell i was andto stop calling lance.

well, what did i do? i told her that first and for all, if she was going to talk to me, she needed to calm down and lower her tone of voice. then i said i am lance's best friend from way back in high shool...even before he knew you. in fact, i was also the same homegirl who advised lance to get back to her sorry rear and be the father of the their baby. and that also i was NEVER interested with lance and if i was, i would been with him a long time ago.

the onlyreason why i called lance back was because he left me a message onmy cellphone and to call him back on his cellphone.in that message, i mentioned the phrases, "okay then, take good care of your kids and your wife.be responsible. god bless." now tell me, is that a message meant to annoy her ?or imply that i like lance? or to ruin their marriage?

she went off and continued yelling, " i don't care. you can't call lance. he can't have friends because i don't have friends. how would i know who is telling the truth? he cheated on me before. we have kids now. we are married.what ifyour boyfriend did this to you? what wouldyou feel if you heard a girl's message on your bf'scellphone? wouldn't you react the same way? "

i understood where she was coming from. i know they have issues but i uttered back that whatever problems they have right now, i have nothing to do with it. it was something between them two. it is a matter of trust. why woudlyou marry someone if you do nto completely trust him.and withmyboyfriendron, if this was our case, i willcheckallmy facts and dats first before i can react. but i truly trust my boyfriend. it is something i strongly establish before i even get into a relationship. i will handle the confrontation in a manner that is calm and not angry so i can also get decent answers.

well, she is a psychotic lunatic that she never heard what i said. she insisted she was right. so what do i do? i told her that i demand an apology for the harsh things she mentioned about me. i will hung up the phone and that that will be the last time i will call. and if they are planning to call me back, it better be an apology phonecall. otherwise, i am not tolerating any of these problems. i also metioned that this isn't my problem. they need to work on themselves as a couple, to trust, to communicate more. and also her lack of self esteem. she needs to get rid of her insecurities. and to not project her anger towards her marriage and towards lance to other innocent people like she did to me.

i ended the conversation with a punch and told her that i am not going down her level, because i understand what she is going through but do nto blame all your frustrations on me. i will nont curse or badmouth her, because i know better than that. i am well educated, i was raised with heightened morals and values by my parents who also taught me to treat others with great respect and interferring one's marriage life was not even listedin my to do list. with that said, i advise her to work on herself and to work on her marriage. otherwise, their marriage willgo down the drain.

she was still yelling, so my last gesture was, "have a very nice night." and i hung up on her.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:51 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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something sweet ron did for me today....

ron has been on this "strict" environment lately with his older brother that even his phonecalls are monitored. today, he managed to sneak out 5 minutes of his time to tell me heloved me and he missed me all day and that i should remember that.

*conversation*
me:i know your family and career are your priorities right now and i am not competing for your time. i totally understand what you are going through. i am onlyasking one minutes a day to know how your day has been. notall women willdo it for you: to stand by you and support you. it's all up to you to keep it or lose it.

ron: ssshhhs(hush) ....what kind of question is that?of course, i'll keep you! and okay, deal, i am giving you one minute of my day. that's it baby....7 minutes a week!!!! (kidding!)

LOL.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 4:07 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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TIME....

"Everything in earth has its own time
and its own season.
There is a time for birth and death,
planting and reaping,
for killing and healing,
destroying and building,
for crying and laughing,
weeping and dancing,
fro throwing stones and gathering stones,
embracing and parting,
There is a time for finding and losing,
keeping and giving,
for tearing and sewing,
listening and speaking,
there is a time for love and hate,
for peace and war..."
---Ecclesiastes 3

posted by pinay freestyle @ 3:57 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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"tanging yaman"

translation (filipino [tagalog] to english)
tangi
-adj. - special, precious, only

yaman
-noun, -riches, wealth

i think i got one of the biggest news of my life this week. as i always say, my Lord works in mysterious waysi could not fully comprehend and grasp but i am really thankful.

the nursing school i previously applied for in los angeles called me back and asked me if i am interested to the remaining one spot they have left outofthree candidates qualified. wow. the same secretary, mila, who i used to bug and bother every chance i get at the nursing department, who was practically annoyed of my presence there, was the same person who wanted me in their well coveted,conservative, "hardto get in" and disciplined nursing program.

apparently, the only constant thing in life is chages. so life changes for me...AGAIN. i have roughly a month to finish all the courses i have here up north. i'll surely miss stockton. i was contemplating to just leave and everything but i mean, a month to spare is nothing. so i decided to stay.

when i broke the news to my cousin aileen, she got depressed. she kept saying how my being here eased her depression when her friends went away for college. and now, it has to start again. that my stay here gave her an "ate" ( big sister) figure, someone to go shopping with, clubbing, babe searching, whatever! i felt bad. of course, i'll miss her, too but i have to do this for my future. couz albert, on the other hand, kept asking me not to leave annoyingly. frequently asking, "why do you have to leave?" a thousand times when i already answered it more than a thousand times. auntie vicky is quite sad, too. though she doesn't say much, i know it was affecting her. i can see it in her eyes. nevertheless, she was happy for me.

i talked to my mother about it when i called her at work. for the first time, i heard my mom say, " congratulations, i am proud of you." odd, because despite of our casual disagreements, my mom loves me dearly and she shows it on her mean, straight and blank face, no emotion demeanor. but that's just how my mother is. my father is very glad i am sure. after all, he's going to have his little princess back in his castle. ( i am a poppa's girl, okay!?) my brother long had this weird intonation in his voice when i told him i was going back. maybe, that was his way of showing he was glad for me. besides, my baby brother complained that he's getting sick and tired of my brother long's "specialty dishes"---sardines and egg. [LOL}.

everything in life has its own purpose. there are things too difficult to understand. but nevertheless, whatever the outcome is, it should be a learning process. i read something in the bible before that, "everything has its own time" and so we must patiently wait. what was my reason of staying here? at first, it was mainly for educational enhancement purposes. then as days passed, it was more on the spiritual and emotional enhancement and reflection towards people around me. i missed my family terribly.there were nights when i would cry myself to sleep because i'm felt homesick. i reminisce times i share with them. it was killing me.

i did not have all the material wealth others have. for instance, my cousins here have every electronic device/games you can think of. i mean, almost all of the tangible things they wanted out of life, they have it (i.e luxury car...) my other cousins travelled all over the world to shop, for vacation(name it: paris, japan,hongkong...). as kids, they had all the fancy toys to play with. i had my siblings to play with.

i may not have all the material wealth. i do not have a luxury car, we didn't get fancy toys, brand name clothes, we didn't travel to paris, hongkong, tokyo....but i had been fortunate because i have an intact family. this is where i belong.... where sunday was a family day, where we eat together almost every dinner night, where i shared my cheap toys with my siblings, where my dad taught me how to ride a bike,play the piano, and our mom taught us how tosing ( we can sing acapella as agroup--i have the highest voice) and instilled the love for the Lord and respect for others, where my big sister bel used to braid my hair, and now i braid my little sister's hair, where i can play basket ball with both my brothers and beat them, or cruise around in los angeles with them and have fun, where my siblings and i would watch a movie together at the mall or spontaneously go to the amuesement parks, where we snuck out of the house 3 in the morningjust to get pho or play counter strike...........aaahhh...*sighs*

...there are so much to mention. these are only portions of my memories. these are my NON tangible wealth. something no one else have. i may not have all the riches in the world....but i have a family who is dear, god fearing, close, and TOGETHER. above all, they love me dearly. i can't ask for more. some people have all the millions worth of luxuries. i have a valued treasure of FAMILY that no money can pay. and my mom, my dad,my brother long, my sister kring, my baby brother LA, my big sister ATE bel, my nephew ichad and my niece ischa...they are my prized possesion. they are my and precious wealth.

they are my "TANGING YAMAN."

posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:33 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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ponder.....

"what doesn't kill me makes me stronger..."
-wilhelm friedrich nietzsche

"life shrinks or expands according to one's courage."
- anais nin

" let everyone [ and everything] you love be your escape."
-mitch, dawson's father on dawson's creek, 10/31/01 episode

posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:23 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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