one day, i decided to quit...
i quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.
i went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", i asked,
"can you give me one good reason not to quit?"His answer surprised me...
"look around", He said.
"do you see the fern and the bamboo?""yes", I replied.
"see...when I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, i took very good care of them...
i gave them light.
i gave them water.
the fern quickly grew from the earth.
its brilliant green covered the floor.
yet, nothing came from the bamboo seed. but i did not quit on the bamboo.
in the second year, the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
and again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
but i did not quit on the bamboo", God said.
"in year three, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
but i would not quit.
in year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
i would not quit", He said.
"then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...
but just 6 months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
it had spent the five years growing roots.
those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
i would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me,
"did you know, my child, that all this time you have
been struggling, you have actually been growing roots". "i would not quit on the bamboo.
i will never quit on you.""
don't compare yourself to others", He said.
"the bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
yet, they both make the forest beautiful.""your time will come", God said to me.
"you will rise high""how high should I rise?", i asked.
"how high will the bamboo rise?", He asked in return.
"as high as it can?", i questioned.
"Yes.", He said,
"give me glory by rising as high as you can."
like a theatrical piece seen in a broadway play or a scene in a tear-jerking movie production, life is a showmanship poured with a labyrinthe of mystifying dramas. my meandering life existence for the past few weeks leaves me exhausted. its’ intricate unending complications are becoming laboriously unbearable. almost daily, i am faced with problematic dillemmas. troublesome journeys take an immense toll on me causing unmanageable relationships with my lovedones, peers, and even myself.
today, after yet another demanding encounter last night that resulted in fuming argument, i found myself staring at my own reflection in the mirror. my chinky eyes manifested a sleepless tearful night with obvious puffiness. the skin that circles under my eyebags and my eyelids are peeling and a little red from rubbing it too much that i obtained from wiping my tears rigoriously. i wanted to smile instead i displayed a sorrowful frown.
the urge to weep again arises but i kept it composed. alternatively, i stared at my blank face. silently in my head, i started a conversation with that woman i see infront of the mirror. the array of painful events suddenly rewinded and recalled. the anxious concerns came pouring in and rationalizing scrutiny. there are a vast of negative critiques to identify. there are summons of pin pointing blames. there are intriguing questions calling for answers…most of which starts with “why?.” yet, i forced to ignore that agenda. it was not my desire to let the tears fall again this time.
in leui, i directed the serious ”discussion” to import of unwavering strength, to give in to account of hope, and to chronicle and remind myself to hold on to faith. i desired this consultation to be a journey to heal, to forgive and eventually to forget.
so the dialogues went like these...
always know that there are those whose love and
understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. there are the people who will love you even in your worse self, they will love you. never stop discovering. discover enough goodness in others to believe in this world of peace.
embrace and be thankful for simple gestures: a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life. and in return, may you give these gifts as well as receive them.
always believe and hold on to hope. remember the beauty of the sunshine when the life’s storm seems unending.
never stop loving. teach love to those who hate you and your family. love your enemies the most. let that love embrace you as you go out into the world. never stop learning. let the teachings of those people you admire and got inspired become part of you, so that you may call upon them.
always make a positive connection and never forget the people you have met along the way. remember that those whose lives you have touched and whose have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished. it is the content of the encounter that is more important than the form.
do not become too concerned and obsessed with material matters, but instead place
immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart. remember... you can not
bring all these treasures in heaven. you can only bring your friends.
always be appreciative and productive. find pleasure in simple things. find time
each day to see beauty and love in the world around you. realize that each
person has limitless abilities, but recognize that each of us is different in our own way. what you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future.
never stop dreaming and achieving and stop worrying. look at the future as
one filled with promise and possibility. be a sponge and absorb everything life
has to offer. learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.
find YOURSELF. find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself. do not be dependent on another’s judgment of your accomplishments. you know yourself better than anyone else.
despite the hurt…always believe in love. always believe there are people who care for you and love you as you are. so just be yourself. may you always be loved. may "mr. dimsum" always love you...despite of the times you say angry things at him. may he be patient and unchanging.
there may be testing trials…but remember that there are also victorious triumphs. and that the world awaits you…
i guess…what i am really trying to convey is…there is always hope. there are times when heart gets weak. but it will continue to beat. and no matter how much difficult encounters, the heart lives and it will feel like the sun coming out after a series of rainy days.
we should always cling to hope because we know that there is always hope in the heart that chases the dark clouds away. hope is a higher heart frequency and as we all begin to reconnect with our hearts, hope awaits us to show new possibilities and arrest the downward spiral of grief and loneliness. it becomes just a matter of how soon you want the sun to shine.
so listen to the still, small voice in your heart….it will make hope into a reality. just what my friend balot always say, “HANG IN THERE.”
and so i am hanging on.
i am holding on.
in God's perfect time, He will give it to me.
the best is yet to come.
Labels: hope, life, life lessons, my story
for the one i love the most...
mr. dimsum
it's been ups and downs lately.
love is not always sunshines & roses.
we need storms to grow stronger.
i want you to know...
i love you so much.
i wish there words to express what i feel...
but words are not enough to convey my emotions.
sorry for being a brat.
please be extra patient with me.
please...
hold my hand...
tell me "things are going to be okay."
just stay with me.
just be there for me.
this is the time i need you the most.
thank you for loving me...
despite if mny imperfectness....
i love you so much.
<3,
len
WHAT MATTERS MOST
It's not how long we held each other's hand
What matters is how well we loved each other
It's not how far we travelled on our way
Of what we found to say
It's not the spring you see,
but all the shades of green
It's not how long I held you in my arms
What matters is how sweet the years together
It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles we tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all.
It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall
The early morning smiles we tearfully recall
What matters most is that we loved at all.
What matters most is that we loved at all.
