november rain
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
***
*NOVEMBER RAIN*
*****
Furious flashes of thunder lit up across the midnight sky,
Roaring and loud like the anger she released from up high.
*
Heavy drizzles like teardrops falling down,
Her teary eyes expressing her sorrow's frown.
*
Resounding, Rhythmic beats of liquid symphony,
Drizzling rain, is my heart showing some agony?
*
What do these downpours of rain really bring?
Please no more suffering. I need some soul cleansing.
*
Flooding pools of sidewalks get sprinkles of cloudburst,
Oh rain, wash away my hurtful emotional outburst.
*
Misty moonsoon occluded my window pane,
Rain, Rinse me off of all of life's sinful stain.
*
Freshen me, douse me from the heavy dew rain,
Oh rain, Let your healing nature heal all the pain.
*
Calm the tempered, violent winds' exerting power,
Oh God of Rain, Purify me, Cleanse me off from the devil's shower.
*
Buckets of water, November rainfall, torrential drencher,
Mr. Dimsum, I wish you are here, I'll feel better.
*
As the singing rain plays me a gentle lullaby on the roof tonight,
I'll dream of our rainkiss, that dreamy rainy night you held me tight.
*
Soon, perhaps, tomorrow, the rain will cease and walk away...
But rain or shine, mr. dimsum, I am here.
And my love, I am here to stay.

Labels:


THE KNIFE
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
i went thru myspace after a long time of my desired absence there the other night.
i abstained accessing myspace to elude conflicts with an exbestfriend -"ms. las vegas"
the truth is, i've sent her a few tactfullly typed one liner emails.
she responded with meagered, scarce replies.
of course, there's an important financial matter we needed to discuss...
no matter how thinning the respect i have left towardsher, i will not discuss any amounts here.
(after all, she was once my best friend. i owe her that scant of respect).

despite my semi-oocasional visits on myspace to see how friends are doing...living...
mind you, including her, but sadly, she deleted me as one of her buddies.
that was expected after i angered her or was she annoyed of my obnoxious emails to her?
truth is, i don't know. i did not expect too much. not from her anyway.
but the next episode was uncalled for.
i think i was not prepared to what was going to hit me next.

clicking away in myspace, i checked how my friends are doing. some are related to her.
i clicked one whom i will initial MC.
i was blocked and could not get thorugh.
okay, i thought, maybe because she was upset, too.
so i clicked another one, her niece/adopted sister, i will aka as "JE,"
and once and again, i was intercepted and hindered and barred.
so i thought, maybe, third luck the third try.
i clicked on her niece, the sister of MC above, "JC,"
for the third try, i hit an obstruction and stonewalled shut out.

then it hit me. this blockage was detered by only one person.
my ex bestfriend, ms. las vegas, i'm so certain had to do with the occlusion.
i can just picture what she told these people...
"she's this and that...so please, BLOCK her! "
so all these people, not knowing the honest truth, cut me off.

i was fuming mad.
anger enveloped me but hurt eventually took over.
i called mr. dimsum, letting out my tears, letting out my heartache.
i think i could have tolerated the pain had not been her who did the damage.
but she - ms. las vegas-was my best friend...

what have i done so cruel that she halted our friendship?
is it wrong to tell her what i felt? or to get back the money she owed me?
it is my own hard earned money anyway.
i was only helping her out.

why is she so upset?
why did she have to let everyone turn their back on me not knowing the real truth?
did she tell them the EXACT scenario?
or was she siding her own story and making herself the proclaimed "hero" out of this?

what do i say?
what do i do?
on the other end of the line,"forgive her," mr. suggested.

outbursting with tears....
outpouring twinge....
bleeding with so much hurt....
i hit the LOG OUT button out of myspace.
i hit the X to close the myspace page.
hoping and praying...
as i clicked out of that page....
i can also click out the pain in my backstabbed heart.

STANDSTILL HUSH
Wednesday, November 05, 2008

i hunger for your warm embrace.
i thirst for your soft lips.
i crave to hold your sweaty palms.
i whim for your gentle touch.
i long for a glance at your flirty smile.
* SIGH * i itch to have you near.
*BIGGER SIGH *
but maybe i need this peaceful quietude.
i'm taking a little tranquil downtime with my loved ones minus MR. DIMSUM.
perhaps...my tired soul can have its own "coffee time. "
perhaps....my weary spirit can occupy a calm siesta.
perhaps...my longing heart can pick up an idle interlude.
just a little get away time for myself....
rekindling quality time with my missed siblings & family,
so i will feel good and if i do, i can slowly reconnect with mr. dimsum,
secretly longing to have him near but maybe when i get back...
so i am
HERE



















in another one of earth's slice of heaven
a souther californian treat
my own breathing space ....
hoping and praying within this little time
i can become a rejuvenated ME
i can be a BETTER ME
so i can appreciate more...
so i can complain less...
so i can understand more....
so i can anger less....
so i can love greater...
so i can hate less...
hoping and praying
at the short end of all these relaxing solitude....
so we can be a BETTER US

(i miss you....mr. dimsum. i wish you were here)

Labels:


STAND BY ME
Monday, November 03, 2008


Click here to Download Stand By Me free at EZ-Tracks.com





Lyrics | King, Ben E. - Stand by Me lyrics

DEBRIS
Saturday, November 01, 2008

okay...
you are B R O K E N.
you are C R U S H E D.
you are TORN APART.
A G A I N...
your tiresome weary heart.
your tearfilled tearful eyes
and...
once again...
the pieces of yourself are
S-C-A-T-T-E-R-E-D
all over the place...
all of it...
ABANDONED.
but do not pick up the debris.
let it pick up its own self.
in no time,
it will be whole again.
for now, my dear,
just FIND YOURSELF.
in between, squeezed in,
hidden within those broken pieces...
YOU ARE THERE.
so just FIND YOURSELF, len.
it may hurt now.
but in no time...
in God'd perfect time...
YOU WILL B E F I N E =)
wipe the tears.
you will cry no more.

MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


::EMAIL ME @ AOL::
:: EMAIL ME @ GMAIL
::FACEBOOK::
::AOL IM: XLENDCX::
::yahoo: YM::
::MYSPACE::
PREVIOUS POSTS
Morning and Mourning Weeps
6 years.
2017 updates
I'm getting married!
ENGAGED!
3 years
To That Person I Fell In Love With When the Timing...
Beginnings
Reflection: $100 PER HOUR
Spiritual Reverie: BETTER THAN I


DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
::joyce::
::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
::christine::

ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
::sanamluang::
::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
::yahoo::
::ask::
::photobucket::
::blogger::

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