i went thru myspace after a long time of my desired absence there the other night.
i abstained accessing myspace to elude conflicts with an exbestfriend -"ms. las vegas"
the truth is, i've sent her a few tactfullly typed one liner emails.
she responded with meagered, scarce replies.
of course, there's an important financial matter we needed to discuss...
no matter how thinning the respect i have left towardsher, i will not discuss any amounts here.
(after all, she was once my best friend. i owe her that scant of respect).

despite my semi-oocasional visits on myspace to see how friends are doing...living...
mind you, including her, but sadly, she deleted me as one of her buddies.
that was expected after i angered her or was she annoyed of my obnoxious emails to her?
truth is, i don't know. i did not expect too much. not from her anyway.
but the next episode was uncalled for.
i think i was not prepared to what was going to hit me next.

clicking away in myspace, i checked how my friends are doing. some are related to her.
i clicked one whom i will initial MC.
i was blocked and could not get thorugh.
okay, i thought, maybe because she was upset, too.
so i clicked another one, her niece/adopted sister, i will aka as "JE,"
and once and again, i was intercepted and hindered and barred.
so i thought, maybe, third luck the third try.
i clicked on her niece, the sister of MC above, "JC,"
for the third try, i hit an obstruction and stonewalled shut out.

then it hit me. this blockage was detered by only one person.
my ex bestfriend, ms. las vegas, i'm so certain had to do with the occlusion.
i can just picture what she told these people...
"she's this and that...so please, BLOCK her! "
so all these people, not knowing the honest truth, cut me off.

i was fuming mad.
anger enveloped me but hurt eventually took over.
i called mr. dimsum, letting out my tears, letting out my heartache.
i think i could have tolerated the pain had not been her who did the damage.
but she - ms. las vegas-was my best friend...

what have i done so cruel that she halted our friendship?
is it wrong to tell her what i felt? or to get back the money she owed me?
it is my own hard earned money anyway.
i was only helping her out.

why is she so upset?
why did she have to let everyone turn their back on me not knowing the real truth?
did she tell them the EXACT scenario?
or was she siding her own story and making herself the proclaimed "hero" out of this?

what do i say?
what do i do?
on the other end of the line,"forgive her," mr. suggested.

outbursting with tears....
outpouring twinge....
bleeding with so much hurt....
i hit the LOG OUT button out of myspace.
i hit the X to close the myspace page.
hoping and praying...
as i clicked out of that page....
i can also click out the pain in my backstabbed heart.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 10:12 PM

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