rough, rugged, and rocky: sometimes, my life is like toling a high, rigid, and stony mountain. its' intricate uphills and perplexing downhills can be wearisome. often, i disguise what i feel inside. in a crowd, i stand out as i fascinate them with my wit & humor. everyone laughs out loud. behind those convincing giggles, an artificial smile covered my hidden despair. melancholic sadness hides in my teary eyes. yes, i'm in pretention and no one is aware.

secluded, i seeked solace in my quiet solitude. despite my roaring strength and relentless perseverance, i'm gullible to moments of powerlessness and weakness. in my attempts to be numb and impenetrable, i slowly lose my stiff self. wimpy and frail, i sink low, drowning in my own ocean of glooming blues. there, i weeped my close-mouthed woes for hours.

my own life's telenovela is concealed. i guess, no one would ever see. no one would contemplate and know me completely. i wimphered my outcries privately. in fascade, i masked my deep sorrows. as much as possible, i kept my intriguing layers out of sight.

i'm like an onion. you have to peel off the layers to discover the real me. i might have chosen to be confidential and complicated . but i am a mere human. i can feel. i can see. i love. i give. i hurt. i forgive. i forget. i lament. when i am hurt, i sob my barrels of tears.

in my transitory quarantine, i found a reliable companion. though drench in my soggy tears, my fluffy, spongy pillow gave me soothing comfort. i hugged , i cuddled, i snuggled my saturated pillow so tight. dreaming and wishing, it was your strong arms wrapped around me, my pillow seems to warm me in my chilly nights.

only my wet soaked pillow heard when my heartaching agony is screaming. the painful heart
often ignored. the watery eyes often unseen. only my pillow will attest to the abundant tear drops i wailed over you as you said you are unhappy.

undisclosed, weeping remains hidden from a view. oh my...those persistent tears lurk on my pillow. casted, my woes extend into dark depression. unceasing & voiceless, i cry in unspoken still of silence. quietly, i mummed my unuttered prayer,"my Lord, please provide me with vital stamina to sustain firmess in my times of frailty..."

yet, you left. you claim that you do not make me happy. how do you know that? have you seen my eyes? my joyless tears remain unnoticed. do you feel what my heart is saying? it is aching. my mournful yearning was once again unsuccessful. yet and again, i am heavy hearted. downcasted, i drenched my pillow with tears as i force myself to sleep.

Labels: life lessons, love

posted by pinay freestyle @ 2:24 AM

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