life is not ALWAYS kind. i am a fighter. i am a dreamer. i am a hard worker. but as reality bites, i also stumbled and fell. i love with all my heart but loving with all of yourself is still sometimes not enough. heartbrokenness still seeks a way to tarnish that love. my life is never dull. i am just trying like everybody else.

i have my own shares of wounds. i had my heart painfully broken so many times in my life. i loved, i love so much and yet, i loved to be torn into pieces. even worst, you find out you have to pick up the debris of that destroyed heart. and i thought, i am scarred for life.

in my brokenheartedness, i found the appreciation of "real love." the one that notices ME beyond my physical attributes. the one that experienced me in my best and my very WORST and yet, embraced my imperfections. the one that not only says, " i love you" but showed me and assured me in his actions he does. at a moment when my life is put on halt, God gave me 'that person' through "mr. dimsum."

i had my taste of failing from A's to D's in my report cards. i am not a nerd by definition. i do not absorb everything i read and learn right away. it takes me three times the hardwork to understand what i am reading. i am a student on weekdays and i am a worker on weekends, hardly even getting sleep or rest. i worked so hard to just achieve something. i desired to be on top of the class but sometimes, i find myself in the bottom despite my earnest efforts. my disappointing results drowned me in hopelessness.

in my hopelessness, i found my way to try and try again. i achieved some. i failed some more. but what is important is i am TRYING. and for whatever accomplishments i received along the way, it was because i toiled it with blood, sweat, tears, and barrels of determination & endless perseverance.

i read in reader's digest before, thomas edison, the inventor of electricity, failed 200 times before he discovered electricity. i believe God intended me to go as far beyond as i can imagine. i know my pot of harvest will earn me a spot in this world. one by one, i am certain my dreams will unfold in my Lord's perfect timing. and i can not wait what is instore for me ahead.

i can enlist conflicts after trials. i can tell you my stories of aches and struggles in multiplied encounters. but i discovered in a difficult way that i can change my future just by merely changing my attitude. i realized life is all about TAKING in everything: every failing times, every sad goodbyes, all these experiences to the next and learning from it all.

i am woman in process. i refused to succumb to failure because i learned from it in the process. there are no such thing as accidents. every little thing happens for a reason. we can not become what we want to be by remaining what we are. and it is in the moments of our struggles that we gain our strengths.

i always say, "believing is a magic that makes a dream come true." i realized that the times i fell down, i was heartbroken and times i failed is that so i can get a perspective of what is like of being on the bottom so i can appreciate what is ahead of me. my wounds are turning into wisdom. all i have to do is follow my instincts.

i would like to think of myself as a queen. she is never scared to make the toughest decisions. a queen is never afraid to fail. and if she failed, she thinks failure is just a stepping stone to greatness so she tries again. she knows that she can have it ALL. it's just she can have it all at once.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:21 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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no one really knows the real me.

sometimes,i am a weakling...but a fierce fighter.
yes, i am kind..true...but be careful, i also can be harsh.
but of course, i love...with all my heart, i love...
but i'm a mere human, also hate, more like despise.

that is me...i am aYin and i am Yang...

i possess both extremities,
but the balance is yet to be found.
to know me more...
one has to delve deep into the recesses of my soul,
feel my ramble beatings of my heart,
search the chambers of my mind,explore the vastness of my heart,
accept the reality that is me...

and this is me: i am YIN and i am YANG.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 9:35 PM [[ 0 comments ]]

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