Saturday, July 19, 2008
dear mr. dimsum,
for the many times i don't show it,
for the many times i wanted to but did n't,
for the many times, i forget,
for the many times, i neglect,
for the many times, i ignored,
for the many times, i did not declared,
for the many times, i missed,
for the many times, you i did not please,
for the many times, in the past...
for the many times, i must...
I LOVE YOU...i am everything i am....because YOU LOVE ME!love,
"princess"
tea bags,,,cast me not..from the ONE LEGGED ANGEL
here's another THANK YOU round to my ever loyal 'fans' ( naks! don't deny...i know you missed me..=) kidding aside, i wanted to circulate a large individualistic THANK YOU to everyone. however, there is no way i can type up hundreds of emails nor a personal HANDWRITTEN love letter to everyone who thought of me and wished me to get well and sent their prayers and love during the recent surgical procedures i've go through. in every language, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
[[although, i was able to allot and squeeze some "loveletters" a few people along the way---ya'll know who you are---hope you got it]]
a removal of some parts of your physical body and also losing some functions to your existng body made me realize how important it is to take care of ourselves and to be thankful for the LIFE God gave me. some of you knew and watched me go through the difficulties i underwent for years now. my elongated path to living and healing is not a joke: itching weeks of wearing cemented casted extremities relying on crutches to take you from point A to point B, the excruciating nerve, muscle, joint pains, sleepless aching nights, countless episode of vomiting to name a few. the truth is, i can enlist arrays of multiple symptoms i feel everyday, or the existence of the strongest medicines on earth i take just hoping and wishing to make all the discomforts and side effects perished, or the multiplying medical treatments, outnumbered diagnostic procedures i received just to obtains congruent solution to the twinge i face persistently everyday. THE LISTs CAN GO ON...but i simply masked the pain away and SMILE or joke it off as most of you who knew me noticed.
truth is, i am simply tired of fighting sometimes. beyond one legged crutch walking & leg cementing, faking a painful smile is even more exhausting. sometimes, i think of how others would respond if they were in my shoes. for most part, it gets insanely torturing. the demands of your daily survival is a constant battle. and the hardest part of it all is NOT knowing when the tormenting war within your physical, emotional, and mental body will end.
it is during these darkest moments when i realized i am still fortunate, after all. my Lord blessed me with extraordinary strength and persistence to live and fight all the battles from which i derived and often absorb from GREAT INFLUENCES in people like you. from YOUR outpouring LOVE, jolly spirits and conjoined LIMITLESS prayers, i am empowered that LIFE is worth every battle i need to face.
they said, " TRUE LOYAL FRIENSHIPS are like TEA BAGS. You'll never know HOW STRONG THEY TASTE until YOU DIPPED them inHOT BOILING WATER. " so to me, you're my TEA BAGS...for lack of a better word, far beyond gratefulness, from the deepest depth of my heart, I AM forever THANKFUL for HAVING YOU for BEING THERE when the sun shines but even better,FOR BEING THERE when the rain pours.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
at the end of all of these, i know, without hesitency, my Lord will return the favor to all of you as I pray to HIM, my Lord, my master healer, to keep you healthy and protected in HIS watchful eye and return the outours of BLESSING back to you.
GOD LOVES YOU...
SO DO I.
Friday, July 11, 2008
i must have done something right in the past to deserve someone as great and wonderful as you.
THANK YOU...."mr. dimsum"
for loving me...despite of...
for taking care of me...
for massaging me...
for cmforting me...
for bringing me food....
for understanding me...
for being there....
iloveyouso much.
THANK YOU....straight from the STUBBORN PATIENT
so another two surgical procedures not to mention a complete severance ( as in removal) of a nerve added to my surgical history. here i am, two weeks later, i'm still somewhat "high" ( more like "bangag") from my generous doses of narccotics (courtesy of nice orthopedic doctor). doctor instructed "do not put put weight on casted foot and ankle, do not use left extremities at all for now, do not drive, elevate, ice it up all the time, clear liquds only, " blah, blah, blah...well, if you know the rebel in me, i am sort of stubborn so i simply did not follow all instructions. i went to a thai food resto 5 days after surgery and guess who i saw, TINA!!! hahaha....i hoping i can get me a crab cake but all i did was stare at it and watched poor BF 'mr. dimsum' gobble up two plates of largey entrees and take home some more.
perhaps you may say, i am being punished due to my stubbornness that i still could not tolerate solid food. gG2 gatorade & BF mom's chinese congee or tsuk or "goto" or lugaw in tagalog has been a reliable sustaining diet. the only only thing i can swallow for no anyway. still on PRN dilaudid ( yes, folks, i am upgraded to stronger dilaudid from the already heavy vicodin. and the annoying worker's comp insurance made sure i now OWN a 24 hour ice machine (like the ones they have in ortho floor, i swear!) so i don't need the leaky ice packs made by my RN mommy. hahaha. THAT's BEEN MY FABULOUS LIFE , so far .
i wanted to send individual THANK YOU's to everyone but it will take me a lifetime to do that. so THANK YOU to everone who prayed from my wlshire umc family, who wished me to get well whethe by tx from pinas, to nyc, to all roud the world, the lovely emails and comments, to all who checked if i was alive and survived the multiple doses of morphine ( hehhe...i'm alive---i'm a cat with nine livES - don't you know that yet?),to all who visited at home ( hopefully, i wasn't demented enough to forget your name - i hope i remembered you!!! hahah) and of course, my 24 hour NURSES at home & super sweet BF who took care of me and still taking care of me for their UNCONDITIONAL tender loving care despite my bitchiness...i owe you so much ndi will make it up to all of you. I LOVE U!
above all,MY GOD and SAVIOUR, My mASTER HEALER, i never doubted your power to heal me. hopefully, i can be up an running in no time. cure me fast oh Lord i can serve you more.
i guess, what am trying to say is, i'm still in pain...and i still need aides in a lot of thngs...but in no time, i will be ok. i tld you guys, i will be a BIONIC woman in no time. so fearnot. thanks again...GOD loves you...so DO I.
