raini woke up in the middle of the night hearing the drops of the rain. and i immediately thought of you. you said you loved hearing the rain. you loved being in the rain. you often drove home in the rain and that's when you often listen to music and cogitate. there, in the somber of the rain, you think of things...you think of life...you think of me.
and here i am, with no voice, shivering in the midst of this cold weather, listening every plunge of the droplets the storm from my window. you may not know this but just like you, i have always found calm in the rain. it must be its trhytmic falling. it must be its cleansing aspect. it must be its great timing to think over things. whatever it is, it inspires me to write.
whatever it is, i found a new connection with the rain. now, i found a greater inspiration towards the rain because i share it with you. odd how i thought of you more today because of the rain. my sole fascination wiht the rain grew when you told me you loved it too. you are the first person i knew who loved the rain same as i love it. perhaps, those were one of the rare qualities i loved about you. you appreciate the simple things in life just like the rain.
now, i am missing you more. i wish i can hold you close to me. i wish we can cuddle with each other in this cold weather. and all i can ever do is hope..some time soon, i hope we can share the beauty of the rain together....admiring its cleansing factor, holding each other under the drip dropping water droplets...listening to its unique beats....TOGETHER. i will wait for that day: a day with you in the enjoying the showers of the rain.
Through The Fire
by Chaka Khan
I look in your eyes and I can see,
That love's a dangerous thingYou're not trusting your heart to anyone
You tell me you're gonna play it smart
We're through before we start
But I believe that we've only just begun
When it's this good, there's no saying no
I want you so, I'm ready to go
CHORUS:
Through the fire
To the limit, to the wall
For a chance to be with you
I'd gladly risk it all
Through the fire
Through whatever, come what may
For a chance at loving you
I'd take it all the way
Right down to the wire
Even through the fire
I know you're afraid of what you feel
You still need time to heal
And I can help if you'll only let me try
You touch me and something in me knew
What I could have with you
Well I'm not ready to kiss that dream goodbye
When it's this sweet, there's no saying no
I need you so, I'm ready to go
CHORUS
Through the test of time
CHORUS
Through the fire, to the limit
Through the fire, through whatever
Through the fire, to the limit
Through the fire, through whatever
dear boy: SO LUCKY
dear BKM,
i'm not easy to love. i'm not easily hooked on a guy. you tell me you're complicated but i am as complicated as you.
i act like a spoiled brat especially when i want attention [ as you found out today - sorry again - oops that's the 1000th time i said it].
i'm super bitchy. though you have yet to discover that, i NEVER give my number to a guy who approaches me in some weird place and i answer them with sarcasm when they ask for it.
i'm quiet when i'm mad but when i'm fed up ...i'm like a volcano exploding. so don't get me mad okay? i don't want to say words that might hurt you, i tend to say things i don't mean when i am angry.
i'm bluntly honest. i don't think sometimes but i think i am a little insensitive. i know sometimes i hurt people i love because of this.
i'm such a critical thinker. i'm trying to stop but i think my brain is trained to be like that -- to think about everything and anything...
i'm an overachiever - not necessarily perfectionist but i work hard for my accomplishments. sometimes, too much that i am compromising my health
NOW YOUR QUESTION
WHY AM I telling you all of these?
because i want you to know that your girl is NOT perfect. and i have my own flaws and i've made mistakes.
i'm just different. i'm not your typical girl.
i like munching on corned beef and sardinas in can. i'm a "spaghtetti and lumpiang shanghai" girl. i always eat the fried chicken inside out and with the chicken skin last. i like diet pepsi.
i like my bathroom smelling good --- and yes, toilet seat down.
i have to strauighten my sheets before i go to bed and i have 10 pillows. two of them are long hotdog pillow and a body pillow. when i sleep, i have the fan on.
i spend 30 minutes washing my face because i have to use facial scrub, toner, moisturizer...YOU NAME IT!
i don't eat breakfast early. i'm a coffee freak - caramel macchiatto or any hazelnut flavored coffee. sometimes, i eat once a day. i just eat on my own time. so please do nto bug me about eating! i'll eat when i am hungry, okay?
i hate typing!!! i can write anything but i hate to type. so don't ask me type your reports for you. i will turn you down.
i read a lot!!! as in a lot!!!magazines...books...anythingi can get myh hands on. i try to read at least 30 minutes a day because a professor told me it exercise my brain so i believed him.
i'm a strict aunt...but i'm also a cool aunt. i don't spank kids...but i do talk to them and explain to them why i am angry at them
i'm makulit....like a bata. i don't like repeating myself. after three times, i get so annoyed...
i like halo halo. i like honeydew boba. i love teriyaki chicken sandwich at subway. i'm a sucker for sushi and korean bbq.
i cry when i watch telenovelas - even the korean telenovelas that i don't understand, i still cry about them.
when i am hurt, i cry in hiding. i dont like people seeing me cry because it dont like them to see me weak. i hide my pain.
YES....I AM TELLING YOU THIS BECAUSE I'M NOOOOOT PERFECT
I'm weird and strange and I'm sending you long email because i can't talk to you because you're busy at work and I miss you so much.
I am ALL OF THE THINGS MENTIONED ABOVE and YOU HAVE YET TO KNOW ME
but i hope you embrace me as i am as i have loved you as YOU.
sometimes i wonder what have i done to deserve you.
you're so patient
you're so understanding
and you never fail to give me butterflies in my stomach.
yeah...
I'M, SO LUCKY
malakas talaga ako kay LORD.
He gave me YOU.
thank you for loving me
I WAB YOU.
<3,
len
