EVEN IF
Thursday, August 31, 2006
even if
Stuck in the raging post summer heat and the bumper to bumper traffic of the 110 freeway going back to Los Angeles, my overanalytical mind started to think again
...of
"him"....
...of what happened to
"us"...of all the lies...
then all the
"what if's..."then came all the longing of falling in love.
Amidst the anxious crazy LA drivers and the impatient cars,
I longed to be loved again.
This came up...
Love is like dark chocolate.
Although it always leaves you
with a bitter taste in your mouth,
you will still be tempted
to take a bite the next time around.Ironically, after that, this song automatically played on my ipod which was hooked to my car radio.
EVEN IF
Jocelyn Enriquez
Even If
by Jocelyn Enriquez
album: Jocelyn (1997)
Time, they say, eases the pain
But now I must keep myself apart
From how things used to be
I know I should go on with my life
And leave the world behind that I have learned to live
I know, I know, I have to be strong
Chorus:
Even if my heart should call out your name out in the rain
Even if these arms should want to embrace you once again
And even if I'm all cried out and no longer in pain
I'll never fall in love that way ever again
Tears are falling like the rain
How do I convince my heart again
That things will be okay
I know I have to make it on my own
Since you left me all alone, such a lonely place
I know, I know, I've got to go on
(Repeat Chorus)
Promise that you'd stay and never leave
Just tell me why should I believe
Obviously you have gone astray and now you're miles away
I'll go on without you
(Repeat Chorus except last line)
I'll never fall in love that way...
No, I'll never fall in love that way ever again
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Falling in love and falling out of love sucks = (
comparison
Friday, August 25, 2006
comparisonlike a bomb exploding and shatters you into a little million pieces...
like a sharp knife slicing through your unharmed skin and blood is dripping...
like a fast bullet penetrating into your body through and through, you were the target...
like a giant tree falling and smashing all its heavy weight on the lighter you...
like a prick of a million rose stubbles puncturing your finger...
like a pair strong hands circled around your neck, choking you until you breath no more...
like a dashing truck hitting you and its' force throw you out of the path..
like a clenched fist punching you straight into your face creating a big black eye...
like a heat of a fire sizzling towards you...
loving someone...
and letting him go...
is not a freakin' joke.
it hurts...
and it hurts like crap.
magical moment
Thursday, August 24, 2006
M A G I C A L * M O M E N TI've waited for this magical moment
I'm overwhelmed by the warmth of your touch
You pulled me close to yor and lovingly whispered
"I've always wanted this so much...."You admitted,
"you were wrong" and
"you'd been lost"Without me, it has been lonely by your side
I accepted your romantic apology with all my forgiving heart
So I'll forget about my stonecarved pride.
Your mesmerizing eyes always melt my gullible heart
I longed to always have you near
I listen as your familiar voice and contagious laughters
Your soft whispers of sweet lyrics in my ear....
i missed that...
i missed you...
God I missed you. But it's all good now
For I am in your arms
Where I belong....Just when I thought I was in my heaven.
The alarm goes of as I lie in bed
You are real or so it seems?
It's another night alone
And its just another dream....
*sighed*
Oh God...
It's just another dream.
"Love can sometimes be magic,
but magic can sometimes be just an illusion."The magical moment was nothing but a mere wishful thinking.
Yeah.
Lucky me.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Put me as a sign on your heart,
as a sign on your arm;
love is strong as death,
and wrath bitter as the underworld:
its coals are coals of fire;
violent are its flames."
Solomon Song of Songs
Saturday, August 12, 2006
i'm off to my desert hideaway for a little R & R. be back soon. and oh. i'll miss you.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
QUICK THANKS TO MY FABULOUS CIRCLE OF FRIENDS!
TONY AND ARNIE --- Pirates of the Carribean at the Grove was awesome thought it was so full!!! Coffee was great! But being with you guys makes evertyhing else twice as fun! I love you!
Arnie --- Thank you for letting me hang out at your fabulous place at Beverly Hills and our ipod tripping day! I'm glad we're rekindling our ties. I feel better being able to talk to you about love anf life. and the gosh, the gluttony of food!
Tony --- You are one of the few man I can count on anytime! Thanks for the hardcore laughing sessions and the serious life talks! Not only can you sing well and you are my vocal coach, you also have a heart of a giant!and Pho was mucho delicioso! Muchas Gracias!
CHARM AND DIANE - Two of the coolest moms in the world who are also the bestest gal pals one can ever have! I can't asked for more! You've been there all the time regardless of what happens in my chaotic busy life.
Charm - You are the most annoyingly cool and curious person I know. Spending time with you is like a wild and crazy party! We go from being serious, to cooking chopsuey and korean barbeque late at night , to conversations about love, life and boys welll former boys, and family, to making fun of Diane and each other and never getting tired of laughing our asses off until three in the morning eventhough we're half awake~ I love you girl for everything that you are! I appraciate your humor, your strength, your loyalty as a friend.
Diane - You bring the balance of spirituality in my life. You bring me closer to God. DEspite the many times, we (charm and i ) make fun of things and you, the great thing about you is you never took us seriously and you went with the flow. I love how you love God and you share thay passion with your friends! You truly inspire me to be a better Christian. Thanks for the many peptalks and the karaoke sessions!
JANET AND SHEILA (Armstrong and Abel - your husbands too) - God, we go way back! AS in super duper way back! and we're still enjoying each other's company! Who knew that the three girls who were placed in a weird Psychology/Sex class with Essex in college will remain so close despite of life's changing seasons? Of course, shopping with you guys is always dangerous because you guys shop like mad fighters trying to grab and buy everything in the damn store! hahah But I love your spontenouity!
Janet - You are the most frank girl I ever met. But over the years, your honesty is one of the things I admired and loved about you. I like a girl who can stand in the middle of a hot fire because I am like that myself. You are one of the few girls who can survive the heat and I know will fight for me no matter what. Thanks for the hearty conversations and lauhgters. I love Justine! He is so entertaining!
Ellah - Your calmness on approaching things is amazing. You have been one of the few people I know who is always worry free. I love that you go with the flow and just kick back and hang out. You bring zen in me. I adore the fact that I can talk to you about everything and anything. Hurry up and have the baby so we cna go to Vegas in aout three weeks !!! haha LOL.
SO BLESSED
Thursday, August 03, 2006
SO BLESSED
Susan B. Anthony once said,
"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these." The simplicity of my birthday this year is a reminder of that.
Life is a scary, creepy and exciting rollercoaster ride. But the countless number of caring family and wonderful friends I have who choose to ride each upredictable ups and downs of my life with me makes rollercoaster rides of my life worthy and enjoyable.
I am appalled and gratified with the overflowing birthday texts and SMS, the heartwarming emails, tearjerking phonecalls, unexpected visits I received from my extraordinarily fabulous circle of friends and awe-inspiring family. Just going through the rush of love I recieved on my birthday, I realized, " God, I am truly blessed."
To my fantastic friends and loving family who threw and hosted the week long birthday gatherings and dinners last week and this week, YOU WERE FANTASTIC!
Cho Sun Galbi Korean BBQ was the best place to intertwine my korean friends and my filipino friends. It was well organized and fun although we ended up smelling like the food we ate. As every stomach filled up through the night, I can tell you it was a job well done. Thanks Mr. Temper! You know who you are!
Brass Monkey was equally awesome! What a night to get unlimited bar privileges and sang the night away with out of tuned hits! Who cares? We were all too drunk to noticed. heheh. Love yah, Tony! You are the best Elvis Presley impersonator I know! And of course, I am Madonna! haha lol.
AT IVAR and the Larchmont, Despite the fact I can not dance the night away, I had an awesome time watching my alcohol infested guy friends dancing their butts off and trying so hard to get numbers from a prey of "new" victims (ooopps, I wasn't supposed to say that). Besides, the ten glass of apple and lychee martinis are keeping me busy. And oh, the sunrise tequilas and my all time favorite sex on the beach cocktails at the Larchmont was the bomb! Muchas Gracias Mickee for surprising me and giving me the biggest hang over the day after.
If there was one thing my family know about me is that I love authentic Japanese food.What better place to celebrate that than being on top of the Hollywood Hills' Yamashiro Restaurant? Not only the food is great but the company as well. Thank you, Ate Ral!
Medieval Times is fantastic! There's nothing more enjoyable than being able to eat chicken and spare ribs with your bare hands, drink from a copper cup and sip your soup from a copper bowl! At the same time, you get to flirt with the yellow knight whom you cheered for and lose your voice from all night long! It was really a "Knight" to remember! Thank you, Janet!!!
Thanks for all the gifts, the gift cards at the coffeehouse, shopping centers and movie houses, the girl "toys" (Janet!!! Bad girl!!!), the bling blings!!! (Love you ate bel!!), the mucho cash from my family ( mama, papa, and siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins!!! Don't worry -- it will be spent soon!) the Marc Jacobs package from my hermano LA, the relaxation and spa package, the wow ---my gazillion bags!!! (more to love!!), the coolest shades from auntie Vicks, the touching messages on the cards and more to mention!!!! I have so much, really. You didn't have too but I loved everything! (To the someone who gave me my Tiffany jewelry, though you were anonymous, I know it came from you.Thanks anyway)
Truth is, there are too many people to mention. Filling up these whole site is not even enough to tell you guys how grateful I really am having you all in my life. I just wanted to tell you all that the outpouring love and care that comes from all of you brings sunshie to my everyday.
And really, from the bottom of my heart,
THANK YOU SO MUCH!Lastly but above all,
MY LORD JESUS CHRIST, You gave me MY life. Use me in such a way I can help, reach out and inspire others who needs you the same way you shed your love and blessings to me. Forgive us Lord for our shortcomings as we forgive those who have sinned and hurt us.
I GIVE YOU BACK ALL THE GLORY. Amen
