NOTE: as the song faded on the radio, i wiped the tears that fell on my face. i realized how selfish i am when i was thinking about other things in my life that we're not even as in depth as the concerns of the little boy. i realized that christmas gifts are not just the material gifts we can offer to someone we love or care about. christmas gifts can also be gifts that can come from anything not necessarily of something in kind but also from offering one's services and giving back anything to the mankind.

that day after that song played, it was a wake up call for me. perhaps, that selfishness i felt on my way to bed that night lingered through out the next day.so i asked myself, "what can i do today to help even one person's life better today?"

then i rememebered, there was a blood drive for the patients at work. i think red cross informed our hospital that there was a shortage of blood donors and that they were limiting the amount of blood they were supplying at out hospital due to this shortage. i donate blood every year. but never on during the holiday season. but then for some reason that day, i realized how that blood can help mr. *jones (* name changed) who has leukemia, *ms. bb who has sickle anemia, *john doe 115 who got into a car accident and lost enermous amount of blood. right then and there, i gave blood.

it started when i offered and presented 10 percent of what i made forthe month of november to bantay bata 163 ( a philippine based foundation taking good care of battered and sick kids sponsored by abs-cbn foundation). on the first week of december, i offered a 10 pecent tithes for our church and another amount to the christmas caroling choir that they can use to serve other people at church and outside church.

these are just little things. this christmas, my gift to myself is to give the wealth of myself to others who need me. this holidays, i set three main goals for myself. my first goal is to reach out to our unfortunate brothers and sisters as much and as far as i can. two, to become an inspiring instrument of example so that i can urge others to do the same. third, to simply spread the love no matter what.

i hope i inspired you as a reader with this particular story. the lord does not ask of anything of us but to gie ourselves to others the same way He gave himself to us to save us from our sins. this christmas, take time to give someone the gift or ourselves and continue on.

The Lord loves you and so do i. Happy Holidays!

posted by pinay freestyle @ 9:51 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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frozen turkey, korean barbeque and a goldilocks cake for thanksgiving

maffi, my best friend in las vegas, asked me on thanksgiving who was the guy on my cell. sang, my guy friend, changed the message on my cellphone's voicemail. of course, it was purposedly done to make han jealous. couple days ago, he was asking who the guy was on my voicemail. pretending innocent, i told han, "oh, my friend changed my greeting."

i was hurt by han's decision not to fight for me...for us. and i avoided every memory of him for couple of weeks. perhaps, i need this time away from thinking of him or from missing him. of course, i can not deny the inevitable times that he invaded my thoughts again. for instance, i was looking at this fixed up car on the street and i thought of him. when my patient's had back pain, i remember the time when hand told me he loved me when i was helping him heal his back pain and i fought to not communicate with him. besides, it was he who decided he can not fight for me. well, then, suffer it. at least, suffer this "i-miss-you" blues with me.

he called me several times. i had this "do not answer" message on his number. i refused to answer it. c'mon, i got to play hard to get! he texted me "i'm thinking of you" or a simply "goodnyt, muah." and i tried to put myself to sleep. if not, as always, i put my butt off to work.

three weeks ago, i decided to talk to him for thanksgiving sake. he asked if he can see me. i told him i'll bring a frozen turkey because my work gave me three frozen turkeys for thanksgiving. i decided, i will give him and his family a mocha roll chocolate cake from goldilocks. so after work, i went to see him. "i'll only stay for a little bit. i have work tomorrow," i informed him. i met his car at the signal hill park where he played basketball every night. his car guided me back to their house.

then he joined me in my car. i avoided to talk to his parents. i was not ready to talk to them any way. i am not sure if they know about our status. in my car, we talked. we avoided about our past conversation. han stared at me for minutes...it seemed like hours. i todl him if he stared at me more than one minute, i will poke his eye. and he smiled. "did i see a smile?" i joked around. he used to say that phrase to me everytime i was mad at him.

we talked as if nothing changed. he still informed me about his whereabouts even though i did not ask. he told stories about his friends and their escapdes. he confided me his problems and grunges with his friends. i observed...i did not say a word. i listened to every word he uttered. i listened to his coarse voice. i asked him if he was sick... he had a productive cough and reminded him to drink his medicine. he replied, " yes, nurse".

i memorized how he smirks when he's bothered by something. i noticed he had a great dimple on his right cheek . and he giggled when he tells me fun stories. i really adored his chinky slanted eyes . it spoke to me even more when he looked at me. i realized right then and there , gosh! i missed this guy and i am right next to him and it's even difficult because i can not even hug him. i was afraid to make that move any way.

maybe, he noticed my tired eyes. i was getting sleepy because i just worked sixteen hours before i went to see him. he reminded me i better get going. truth is, i wanted to stay there. i could stay there forever. i felt home with him. but i stopped myself and agreed i must leave, i still had work the next day. so instructed him to get the frozen turkey, korean barbeque and the goldilocks cake in my trunk. he even called his brother to help him.

on my way back to the driver's door, han stopped me. he gave a huge hug...squeezed me tight...he did not even want to let me go. and kissed me on the cheek. and then on the lips. long and passionate. no words said. i did not need to have explanation. i can feel it. i did not say anything. i went back to my car. and he leaned on my window again. this time, he kissed me goodnight again. and his brother was there watchign us.

that night, han and i talked on the phone like nothign changed. he called me every night after that. he even calls me "baby" while i three wayed him to talk to my cousin ai. i am pleased how he is such a friendly soul to my family. it was one of the things in my standards. he still tells me i miss you and i love you before he hangs up the phone. i reply, "me too."

who knows what will phappen next? i don't know what is in store for me and han. like the first time i went with him, i am taking my time this second time around. no rush. what can i say? we are a work in progress. i will simply wait for cupid's next move.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:44 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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Everything HAPPENS for a REASON

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( ~'.'~)
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Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that theywere meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you alesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be but when you lock eyes with them,you know that every moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seemhorrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that withoutovercoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential,strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by meansof good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatnessand sheer stupidity all occurs to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothy paved, straight, flatroad to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls thatyou experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can belearned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart,forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and theimportance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you,but because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes tolittle things.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from iteverything that you possibly can, for you may never be able toexperience it again. Talk to people you have never talked to before,and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set yoursights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, forif you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Createyour own life and then go out and live it.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:39 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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s l o w d a n c e

This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.It was sent by a medical doctor. Make sure to read what is in the closing statement AFTER THE POEM.

S L O W D A N C E
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading night? You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?When you ask How are you? Do you hear the reply ?When the day is done do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head?You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short.The music won't last.

Ever told your child, we'll do it tomorrow?And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die cause you never had time to call and say, "hi"? You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere you miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift.... thrown away. Life is not a race. Do take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

PLEASE pass this message/mail on to everybody you know. It is the request of a special little girl who will soon leave this world as she has cancer. Please send this to everyone you know or don't know. This little girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish. She wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own. By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan.

Dr. Dennis Shields, Professor
Department of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue
Bronx, New York 10461

posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:31 AM [[ 0 comments ]]

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