maffi, my best friend in las vegas, asked me on thanksgiving who was the guy on my cell. sang, my guy friend, changed the message on my cellphone's voicemail. of course, it was purposedly done to make han jealous. couple days ago, he was asking who the guy was on my voicemail. pretending innocent, i told han, "oh, my friend changed my greeting."
i was hurt by han's decision not to fight for me...for us. and i avoided every memory of him for couple of weeks. perhaps, i need this time away from thinking of him or from missing him. of course, i can not deny the inevitable times that he invaded my thoughts again. for instance, i was looking at this fixed up car on the street and i thought of him. when my patient's had back pain, i remember the time when hand told me he loved me when i was helping him heal his back pain and i fought to not communicate with him. besides, it was he who decided he can not fight for me. well, then, suffer it. at least, suffer this "i-miss-you" blues with me.
he called me several times. i had this "do not answer" message on his number. i refused to answer it. c'mon, i got to play hard to get! he texted me "i'm thinking of you" or a simply "goodnyt, muah." and i tried to put myself to sleep. if not, as always, i put my butt off to work.
three weeks ago, i decided to talk to him for thanksgiving sake. he asked if he can see me. i told him i'll bring a frozen turkey because my work gave me three frozen turkeys for thanksgiving. i decided, i will give him and his family a mocha roll chocolate cake from goldilocks. so after work, i went to see him. "i'll only stay for a little bit. i have work tomorrow," i informed him. i met his car at the signal hill park where he played basketball every night. his car guided me back to their house.
then he joined me in my car. i avoided to talk to his parents. i was not ready to talk to them any way. i am not sure if they know about our status. in my car, we talked. we avoided about our past conversation. han stared at me for minutes...it seemed like hours. i todl him if he stared at me more than one minute, i will poke his eye. and he smiled. "did i see a smile?" i joked around. he used to say that phrase to me everytime i was mad at him.
we talked as if nothing changed. he still informed me about his whereabouts even though i did not ask. he told stories about his friends and their escapdes. he confided me his problems and grunges with his friends. i observed...i did not say a word. i listened to every word he uttered. i listened to his coarse voice. i asked him if he was sick... he had a productive cough and reminded him to drink his medicine. he replied, " yes, nurse".
i memorized how he smirks when he's bothered by something. i noticed he had a great dimple on his right cheek . and he giggled when he tells me fun stories. i really adored his chinky slanted eyes . it spoke to me even more when he looked at me. i realized right then and there , gosh! i missed this guy and i am right next to him and it's even difficult because i can not even hug him. i was afraid to make that move any way.
maybe, he noticed my tired eyes. i was getting sleepy because i just worked sixteen hours before i went to see him. he reminded me i better get going. truth is, i wanted to stay there. i could stay there forever. i felt home with him. but i stopped myself and agreed i must leave, i still had work the next day. so instructed him to get the frozen turkey, korean barbeque and the goldilocks cake in my trunk. he even called his brother to help him.
on my way back to the driver's door, han stopped me. he gave a huge hug...squeezed me tight...he did not even want to let me go. and kissed me on the cheek. and then on the lips. long and passionate. no words said. i did not need to have explanation. i can feel it. i did not say anything. i went back to my car. and he leaned on my window again. this time, he kissed me goodnight again. and his brother was there watchign us.
that night, han and i talked on the phone like nothign changed. he called me every night after that. he even calls me "baby" while i three wayed him to talk to my cousin ai. i am pleased how he is such a friendly soul to my family. it was one of the things in my standards. he still tells me i miss you and i love you before he hangs up the phone. i reply, "me too."
who knows what will phappen next? i don't know what is in store for me and han. like the first time i went with him, i am taking my time this second time around. no rush. what can i say? we are a work in progress. i will simply wait for cupid's next move.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:44 AM
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