"i 'm flying there. i want to be away from LA," i informed han.
"when?," he asked confusedly with a sound of a little giggle.
"this friday after work, i just need to purchase ticket online, " i answered firmly.
" why? what's wrong over there?i can't be with you this weekend, honey. i have a conference this weekend. but we'll see. it's just i might not be able to spend time with you, that's all ." he answered. but he giggled again.
hysterically upset and mad, "fine, do not talk to me, okay? you are the only person who i thought understands me especially when i am in my worse and now, you do not even want to see me now that i am offering to go visit you there ? fine...go to your stupid conference...if you even have one or you were just lying to me. so, buh-bye. i'll just go to sleep," i hung up the phone on han.
i had a difficult day. i just wanted to be away. i just wanted to be freed from my sadness here. call me selfish but i just wanted a breath of fresh air away from the west coast. it's hard to talk about it because only han knows what i am going through. and i felt confortable talking to him about my problems. and now that i needed to just be with him, the person i knwo who will be there. but now, it seems liek he has no time for me.
all these contemplation is going on in my head and i left the house and drove away with my car. i was upset. i just wanted to calm down. it was not just what han said. it was everything else. all the emotions that was not said. it was too much. i drove and i drove around just to clear my head.
my cell phone rang again. it was han. he giggles as he is trying to explain his side but along with it, he was giggling. it irritated me even more. but i let him speak to me. " honey, i know you are upset. i did not want to tell you this but...i had to. well, the reason why i am holding my laughter is because...i am packing my bags...."
why?," i asked again.
"i am packing because i am going home to you.," he said.
going home to me? i asked myself. to me? here in LA? i asked myself over again.
"why?," i asked again, this time, confused.
my mom and my dad needs me there right now. and besides, i want to be with you, too. it's hard being away from everyone...from you. i have to go back especially these holidays. i wanted to be near you," he explained.
"why?," i asked again.
"i explain myself and you bust out with five questions and it's all 'why?'.," he laughed.
"but i wanted to surprise you, honey. i was just going to fly there and surprise and tell you i am going to stay there with you for good. or at least, for the time being. i did nto mean to upset you. so i will see on saturday okay? i'll be there soon. okay? he replied sweetly.
"what if i don't want to see you since i am upset.," i asked jokingly.
"well, that's easy, i'll just make sure that i'll get an accident in front of your hospital. i will make sure i will get surgery. so i know for sure that i will end up in your floor [i work in a medical surgical floor] and i will request to have you as my private nurse and i will pay you at all cost. besides, i know you can not resist me if i really got into an accident, " he replied confidently.
"good answer. i'll give you a cookie for that. so i will see you sunday okay? " i eagerly hung up the phone. do i have a great guy or what? it's too good to be true. and i smiled. my first real geniune smile in what seemed like thousand years.
i don't know how the Lord works in wonders i can not even explain. in my past musings in this blog and recent conversations with my friends, i told them that i wanted han back. when i woke up this morning, han called me from their home phone in long beach but i was still asleep. in couple of hours, i will see him after four long months of being away from him. am i awake? i feel like i am dreaming. in the hours of my life that i feel so alone, the Lord might have thought that i needed han next to me so now, he told his angels to bring back han to me. maybe, the Lord figured, i need a smile. well. Lord, i am smiling. thank you for my unexpected gift.
[thank you, Lord for reminding me that in my hours of loneliness and solitude, You are listening to my cries, woes and requests. thank you for providing me the angels who guides me in my times of confusion and anger. ]
posted by pinay freestyle @ 2:13 PM
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