there has been silence in my life. some, i kept. some, i shared. but i just needed a break. the past few months i was bombarded with tremendous trials and challenges. i talked about the stresses at school, at work, and family. but what has hit me the most this year was ron.
"why ron?," you may asked.
i felt cheated the second time around. yes, he was another man in my life. perhaps, just another boyfriend. but he was more than a boyfriend. he was supposed to be my partner, listener, comforter, my knight, my "peasant" , and my bestfriend. when he decided to ignore me and use "silence" as a tool to avoid me, i was crushed because he was a huge part of me. more than anything else, he was special because he taught me how to love again, not once but twice.
but so he left.
. maybe some things still breaks me apart. truth is, ron's memories still tears me into bits and pieces. and i wish we can become good friends. according to his mom ( we talked, by the way), he is doing extremely good. and i am happy that he fulfilled his promises to change for the better. and because i once loved this guy so much, i am glad for him. no, let me repgrase that----i am happy that he is happy even if letting him go was the most difficult thing to do.
i dealt with the pain with so much tears. but the only constant thing in life is change. and so must accept it with a big embrace. now, i face this new journey with my chin up. i fell but now, i am up on my feet. i am almost done with school. in six months, i am done in my chosen career ( fingers crossed!). once again, i devoted myself to work ...i think more than i can handle. buit i worked anyway. i went on a short break to las vegas recently. las vegas is my "get-away-from everything" place. there, i forgave. there, i tried to find ME again. there, i brought back the spontaneous, the funny, the wacky len alive again.
now, i am back. perhaps, more rejuvenated than ever.
sometime ago, i said, "at the end of the rain and the storm, there is a rainbow and the sun will shine."yesterday will be another chapter i will recall sometime someday. i must now face tomorrow again. we pay no fee for each new day. today is impregnated with tomorrow. i am not dropping the curtain.
in two more days, another year will greet us. i anticipate its upcoming. i am sure it will bring me lots of surprises. i look forward to it. i will welcome it with a big smile. yet whatever tribulations i will endure this new year, one thing is for sure. i am ready for it. so bring it on.
one thing i learned through these all is that, there is a magic in believing. that sometimes life become inevitable with its unpreditability, and yet, the sun shines, the river flows, the bird flies. that's what's keeping me hope. life, in its entirety, with its ips and downs, there is hope.
TITLE:"hope-a-holic"
(title adopted from dr. robert h. schuller)
posted by pinay freestyle @ 5:58 PM
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