I was browsing through couple blog sites and it seemed as if everyone is mending a shattered heart including me.
All these memories of the ones I loved are haunting me but Glenn and *Inch* have these major impact that keeps hitting me hard on my head and striking each and every emotion I hid for the past year or so.
Glenn because of all the "misbehavings" he has committed. It's all running through my head like a rewinding VHS tape.The first time he admitted the only reason why he went home to the Philippines after telling me he loved me for the first time was because "he wasn't over Reiko." I cried that night but he never had a clue I did. Three years after that came the case with that "one night stand" with Donna. His friends told me how Donna and Glenn "slept together" one one tenth during one of their summer nights camping on the beaches of Hawaii. Even Glenn's own friends burned Glenn out and advised me to leave him. But no, I stayed. I am stupid like that. I think I wait for these big boulders of rocks to hit me even harder and leave me with bruises and bumps or worse yet, I wait for it to bleed, before I realized I was hurting. I talked to Glenn that night and for the first tiem in three years, I cuss the hell out of him and left, standing my ground. Then came her, "the no-name-woman" in the Philippines. Glenn was pursuing me then for a second chance. The she came and supposedly, they were together briefly while Glenn was in PI for vacation. And then this "she's pregnant" issue approached as soon as he got back. I let it go, as I mentioned, in my previous entries.But I can't disclaim that I am swimming in pain and misery. Only time can cure all the hatred and can get rid of all the loneliness I feel inside right now.
Inch....because of all the reason that he is. Why didn't I stayed with him and went running back to Glenn? Why didn't Inch begged to stay? Why did he chose to ignore me after all the things we did or was it the things I said to him? I really don't know. He just left me wondering. I remembered, he uttered once that "silence" is the best method for the person you loved to realized what he or she is missing out on. And obviously, it worked for me. I think, he chose not to explain his side because I defended my feelings for Glenn and again, there goes my stupidity. I just told the ONLY person ,who manifested how to be loved me and treated me like a queen, that I don't care for him when the truth is, I do. I really do. But it's too late for him to realize that now. I attempted to keep at least a friendship with Inch but even with that, he's not responding. I recalled giving Inch some Phrases from these song I heard from MT Asia and it stated, "You are reason enough for me to go on living, You are reason enough for me to smile again. In a world where hearts are broken, every now and then, you are reason for me to love again."
As I said, it will take me a while for all my pain to subside. Only time or the chance to love again can recify and refurbish the shattered peices of my heart and to rejuvenate the loneliness that I succumbed inside. Only time....
posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:36 AM
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