Pressures
Pressures on school and work and home are putting a burden on me.
School because it is once again, it's meeting term paper deadlines on time and taking care of finals and some of my classes, requires oral presentations and all that. I had no idea why I decided to take 21 units this semester. It's really putting a strain on me now. I have to start getting things doen now so I can concentrate with the classes that I need to pay more focus on. Lord, help me.
Work is a mess because I needed to lessen my hours there because I am not concentrating on school and my priority right now is gettign things done at school. The thing is, I keep telling Geng, my cousin and also the charge nurse at work, to lessen my hours but she keeps putting me on 12 hours shifts and three days a week. By the time, I get to school, I can't even open my eyes.
Home and family are also affecting me greatly because my mother also works as a nurse 12 hours a day. I, do, too. Most of the time, when I am not in school, I am at work. Mom is tired by the time she gets hoem so she expects me to take care of things while I am at home. The truth is, I am so weary. I can't even tell her how tired I am. The cough that I had since I got back from Vegas is still here. I feel like I am a walkign robot designed to meet schedules and get deadlines finished. But I am human and I have a brain that gets wornd down, too like everybody else. Gosh, why did my older sister ever get married? She could have been helping us now. But no, she had to get marry and live her own life. Now I am drained. Everyday, I wake up at 5:00 just to be on school on time and then as soon as I get home, Geng calls and beg me to go to work for 12 hours. I don't even get sleep!
On the contrary, my hard earned efforts at school are paying off. Professor Mendez told me that my works in his class are "exceptional "and it is "compared to the works of Graduate students taking Master's and Doctorate Degrees. " He mentioned on his personal letter to the Scholarship Committee that my writings in his class " takes his breath away" as a professor and I am "dedicated " and "determined" and "is one of the best students he had in his ten years or more of teaching." That's a good news.
I talked to Ziggy and he said he's getting off on May 14 to May 22 and he wants to see me. I don't think it's a good idea to see him.
Glenn and I talked and he mentioned how "she" ( the girl in PI is annoying him). I told him, obviously, he has his own issues to deal with so DEAL WITH IT! I reminded him not to worry about me because I am actually doing great without him. I know he still cares for me. I recognize that but it's just I came into a realization what would my life be with Glenn? It will be a mess. And I don't want it to be that way. I want someone who will take care of me and love me. Before, everyone was against my relationships with Ziggy and Glenn. I defended Zig all the way even if it was wrong. And then Glenn, I shielded, safeguard, and fought for our relationship. It was me and him AGAINST ALL ODDS. And what rewards did I get? A broken heart. I don't want to go through another pain and sorrow. I will still be his friend but that's where I'll draw the line between us.
I am talking to Brian. He's Korean from Orange County and we're just "talking." He's
1) a commnications major transferring to UCLA next semester (Wow, a brainy!!! It is in my "must have" list!)
2) a devoted Christian ( when I told him about Glenn and I told him, we remained good friends because it's useless for me to cuss Glenn out, he said, "Don't think of revenge. The Lord will take care of your vegeance.")
3) very romantic and sweet ( I told him, there's a reason why my Lord made me break it off with Glenn. It was probably his answer to my patiently wating questions whether I should keep Glenn or not and Brian's response was " Maybe, I am his answer for you."
4) korean ( Did I ever tell you, I find Korean guys more attractive than Filipino guys? Well, I am just more into the "chinky eyed" men.)
5) family oriented ( I am , too)
6) dedicated ( to work and school and my kind of man!)
I am hating how he's too good to be true. Inch was like these, too. I woudl be diappointed if I find something in him that will turn me off. I will probably look for something in him anyway that would turn me off. But right now, it's a thumbs up!
Well, I have to get going because I have an exam tomorrow for Dr. Lee's class and I need ot get going and memorize formulas.
Ciao!
posted by pinay freestyle @ 3:07 PM
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