You drown me deep even beneath the pool of melancholy,
And I endeavored to swim up to catch my breath
Just to be with you.
You pushed me falling down from the mountain of happiness,
And I clenched hard to the forest’ roots, trying to get back up
Just to be with you
You ran me over with your huge truck of unfaithfulness,
And yet, I ignored the your demeanor and my pain
because I cherished you
You stabbed me with a sharp knife over and over again,
And I left my wounds and scars unnoticed, I figured, with time, it will heal.
You “just made a mere mistake.
You blindfolded me with you hanky of your “cheating heart”
And I still used my other senses to stand next to you,
I wanted to be there for you and not leave.
You poison me with your convincing words
But I luckily spat it out and still, believed your endearing phrases.
Your romantic gestures and declaration swept me off my feet.
You sliced through the layers of my skin, and chop it all into portions
Hemorrhaging and with trickling blood, I disregarded the ache and the agony.
Maybe, it was not done intentionally.
You drenched my soul in gas and lit me up with a match,
You watched me burning in flames
Yet, I forgave you, I knew you didn’t mean to do that.
You strangled me with both your broad and gigantic hands,
And I fought with difficulty to exhale
I acquitted your shortcomings.
You shot and targeted the focal point of my heart,
And I resuscitated myself to be alive
Because I don’t want to die...not without you.
You chainsawed my severely damaged heart,
Broke it in half and divided it into scrap bits and pieces,
Despite of the injury done, it continued to beat and palpitate.
That was before.....
This is now.
AND THIS IS ME now
After all the sabotage,
the destruction,
and degrading conducts
you executed towards me,
I remained standing here...
STRONGER
BRAVER,
each and every time.
READY to face the next odd approaching.
READY to fight the next battle.
That was then and this is now,
Truly, I can tell myself and the whole world,
I am a LONE SURVIVOR
that overcame the oppressive combat
and excruciating torments,
the endless flow of tears,
of this thing they called,
battle of love.
April 26, 2001
8:48 PM
For Glenn
"Thank you for breaking my heart.
I never realized how strong I was until you left me. "
NOTE FROM LEN:
Three weeks ago, I found out from Glenn himself that he got someone pregnant from the Philippines. I was so depressed and downcast. But I figured, it was probably the long awaited answer I had to the debating speculations in my mind and heart whether I should give him and our loves a chance to flourish and bloom again. I loved him but he has hurt me too much that I felt as if I have no more tears to cry.Not only did he tarnished my entire identity as a human being, but he also burned my soul and did notleave me until I became ashes. I am letting it go. All of it, the emotions, the feelings, the thoughts I have left for him. Every little pinch and dash of it that’s left , like what he did to me, will set it all up in flames and watched the smoke burn it all . Today, I was bored and I wanted to use my time productively.And Ifelt as if I can express my thoughts and emotions better in writing So here was the outcome. Pretty amazing musings I may say. And a very beneficial way to escape from it all and move on and look forward to a new day that’s waiting for me tomorrow. Besides, the sun will remain shining with or without Glenn. And I, I will keep surviving, no matter what kind of injury or struggles anyone will put me through. What can I say, like the singing trio Destiny’s Child, “ I’m A survivor!”Only a few people in this world can say that. And yep, I am one of them.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:14 PM
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