Monday, April 16, 2001
MARK: My "homie-lover-friend"

I am killing time right now. Strange because eight days after I decided to get Glenn off my life, I get a call from Mark, my long lost friend. We're going on a date tonight. He's picking me up and I am waiting for him.

Just a little introduction of Mark:

Mark was a friend of mine five or six years ago before I even met Glenn. We were good friends, we go on dates a lot, we go to parties. We were like best friends. One day we decided to try being a "couple." But it just wouldn't work. I guess, because we knew each other so much and we knew each other's trust and secrets that we figured it wasn't a good idea for us to hook up. I had this weird attraction to Mark that makes me go out with him all the time. But I dont' know if he felt the same way. He became sort'a like "homie-lover-friend" to me and vice versa. We would go to parties separately and nobody will ever notice we were together. We would secretly meet up after the party to be together. Other times, Mark would knock on my window and I would sneak him inside my room quietly and we would sleep and talk...sometimes, "messed around."

Then Glenn came along, I thought Mark didn't like me or loved me. I talked to him how Glenn was courting me and ne would just say sarcastic remarks like " You're trading me for someone else..., " or "you don't love me anymore.." But I don't think it was seriously said. So after ^months of courting I went for Glenn. And it was him eversince. A month after I was with Glenn, Markk professed his love for me. But it was too late. I had Glenn. Mark and I remained very good friends. We would go out and watch movies but more subtle and behaved. He told me he loved me and that I should leave Glenn. But I can't...I was too inlove with Glenn. Plus, it wouldn't be fair for Glenn. And durign the times, I amhavign problems with Glenn, Mark would always utter, " I told you, you should've gone for me.."Over the years, Mark and I kept in touch. I stop seeing him two years ago because Glenn was jealouse of him. We still talked and he's always asking me out on a date but I kept turning it down because of Glenn.

Then he called today. He said he has been calling me for months but I was never home. He said he has been trying to get in touch with me the past week so we can go out or something since he is on Spring Break but I wasn't home. It's funny how we grew up from being young, rebellious, and weak high school kids to professional and mature adults. Mark is now a senior in college and a Computer Science Major and I am a nurse. Whoa! And I am going on a date with him tonight. The first time ever in two years! I wonder what will happen. I am excited.

So I'm just here...and I am waiting....

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MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


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ONE LAST CRY"My shattered dreams and broken heart ...
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DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
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HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
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::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
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ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
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::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
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::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
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::thai bbq::
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::koji's::
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QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
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