The Tears Behind My Eyes

When I'm in a crowd, I am always the "clown" that's yearning to cry. But I must not. People around me thinks of me as a human with toweing strength as strong as a concrete wall of China.

But look at my eyes....
there's almost tears wanting to fall down....

I stood infront of the man I loved all my life, he chose to tell me he "tried someone new," and he was sorry. he waited for my to shed a tear, to show him my dash of my shattered heart, a pinch of my emotions. I stood there, pretending to be emotionless, feelingless, no sight of tears...not even a grain...I walked back standing firm to my ground showing no signs of weakness.

But he doesn't know...
I hide...the pain so well, the hurt that's tearing me apart,
It's there...in the corner of my eyes...
the barrel of tears fell as soon as I turned my back on him.

My mother thinks I am "stubborn" that I "chose to do things just like I want it." She said I have no sense of compasson or consideration. I don't even think if my words hurt others or not...that I should be sensitive and not cold. And my face looked firm... eyebrow up, pretending not to listen, that I didn't hear anything. I go on my way...like it didn't affect me. I remarked..."just say it all now so I can swallow all these hatred all at once...with just one fatal blow." And she contined on....more sarcasm, more torment. She thinks I am like a robot...witn no feelings and thoughts.

The trut h is, I am bleeding...
Like a bloody soldier wounded from a gun shots fired towards me...
waiting for the big missile to target me so everything would just be done.
and tears, these tears I hide are just too much to bear,
the barrels multiply in millions everyday.
It's there but it's unnoticed.
Stare at it closely, it's hidden BEHIND my eyes.

Once again, I go on. I move forward....
carrying hopes for better tomorrow...
facing people who continue to down me and negatively criticize me,
facing the circumstances that brought me my lasting strength today,
They don't see me weak and tired...
with tears falling from my teary eyes...
they see my masked statue of courage.

What they dont know is,
I am almost on the verge of my last strength...
Just waiting for that one last fatal blow to hit me...

Meanwhile, all these sorrow is in my eyes....
Look closer,
Stare at it even closer,
Search within....
You see my brown eyes,
crying with blood...
because of my wounded heart....
Do you see?
These are the tears FALLING ceaselessly,
BEHIND my CRYING eyes.

*NOTE: I know what a sad concept. I am just in these mood right now. Sorry....if I put you through this melacholy atmosphere.

PS. These are made especially for people who thinks I am coldhearted like a thick block of ice. Please, I am human, too. I have emotions,t oo. Please be sensitive.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:43 PM

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