Can you believe eversince Glenn came home from the Philippines, we haven't even attempted to talk to each other? Why? Truthfully, I have no idea. Right now, it's just silence.
On my part, it's pride. Firstly, because of the fact, that he is the man and it's suppose to be his job to call me. Secondly, he is the one who has some explaining to do regarding the fact that he told me " i don't what i feel for you " and then all the sudden, he called me overseas from PI and told me, " I miss you.." Now what in the heck was that? Thirdly, I am assuming this is his way of telling me that "he needs space," or " I found someone new," or "It's really completely over," or "I don't want anything to do with you." Any of these might be valid. Glenn used this same pattern of behavior when he said he had a "fling" with "Dee." He was avoiding me and he wasn't calling me. Then he met this girl from hi last vacation in Philippines, he chose not to call me. And when he finally did, it was because he was so afraid of me. So I am thinking, it is probably the same reason why he is not calling me again.
On Glenn's side, I really don't know. Perhaps, it's also pride. He's expecting me to call him. So I guess, it's just a waiting game. Perhaps, it can also be what I just said, he's afraid to call me because he might hurt me of he says "he found someone new." ( But I wouldn't be surprise if he did.) Perhaps, this is also his way of telling me me "there's no cahnce for us...anymore."
Ahhhh...I don't know. I just know this immense silence and waiting is killing me. I attempted to crankcall him and he was there. It's him I know because he has this distinctive rusty voice and plus, it's only him and his mom who live in their house. I want to know what he is up to this time. I yearn to find out answers to my confusion and us.
Is this his way of telling me "we're history?" That we are now a "close book?" This silence, does it mean he's pushing me away? Does it mean, it's really really over between us? That's how he ended things with Reiko before I met him. They, too, ended in silence. So, is this silence dictating to me, that this is "good bye" for Glenn and I, too? Is this silence suppose to help me think things over? Well, it's not working. It'a actually making things worse for me right now and I am not feelign any better.
I don't know. I wish I know the answer.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:09 AM
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