did i tell you my big sister and her kids are here in los angeles from the philippines for their summer vacation? well, if not, they are.
this is between you and me. i am so proud of how my sis is dealing with her life now being a single mom. i wanted that a~~hole out of her life because he's such a coward that all he always do is make my sister work her butt off and pay their bills and he can't even contribute a single centavo to the expenses. and when conflicts arise, he couldn't settle it with a talk. he deals with the anger through hitting my big sis. my sis tolerated this for years. and it brought trauma to my niece and nephew.
i hated seeing my sister cover up for his cowardness. one time, i saw a bruise on her arm while she was hiding the inevitable scars under a long sleeve dress shirt. and when i asked her what had happened, she simply replied, " oh. it's just a petty fight." i never really understood why women stay in abusive relationships? i studied some reasons in sociology class: for the kids, because they are scared, because they think marriage isnot somethign they should give up on, because they love their partners. where's love when he's beating you up? and when are you going to move on? when are going to stand up on your own feet? when the end is near? when you're dead or in the hospital somewhere?
it takes guts to leave. i knew it was a difficult decision for "ate" to tell him that he needs to get out of their life or else, she will pursue domestic violence charges on him and he will eventually pay his dues in jail. after all the beatings, after all the times i irked my sister to leave this loser, after the emotional, mental, and physical damage, she told him off and kicked him out of the house. now, that's my sister!: feisty and strong! and i am darn proud of her.
occasionally, the children would look for their dad. but my sister allowed their father ot have visitation rights. but their new set up is much better than tehe old one because now, my sister is free and bruiseless. the kids are still gradually adjusting to the situation but they're progressing very well. two nights ago, my three years old niece woke up and cried because she missed her dad. when she asked me about her dad, i did not know what to say. she was too young to understand. eventually someday, i will have to tell her.
i am working two jobs and going to school full time for a higher degree to help my sister out with the finances and so that someday, i can make life better for them, too. i am aware of how rough life is with her right now and yet, she chose not to complain or even ask for any help. with extra earnings, we were able to give her a break here in U.S. away from the man she loved but later, tarnished her body and soul. and i am making every effort to take the trauma off my niece and my nephew.
i sent them to disneyland, sea world, universal, beaches...and more ot come. i spent endless hours playing with them when i am off from work. they even sleep with me. with the paycheck i got from my other part tiem job, i am taking them to the toy store. i know these are not enough to make them forget the torment. these are just little things i can give them. i can never replace the love of their father. but i am doign my very best to be a second mother to them and help my sister out the most i can.
it's an elongated process and enermous adjusting. and it will not be easy along the way. i am certain there will still be obstacles. both the children, my sister, and us, her family will adjusts. but the good thing is, there's no bruise, and there will be no pain or abuse or cries. instead, it's a family full of love and support. i don't want to blame my sister for the shortcomings she made in the past. besides, we can not reverse those mistakes. we can only work with them and rise above them.
i believe that's my purpose for now. so, "ate, " ( big sis) and to my "pamangkins" ( nephew and niece), no matter what, i love you dearly and i will never leave your side. hang in there. i am aware i can fully experience nor explain what you are going through, but one thign i can assure you is that when every window or door shuts on you, mine will always be open and ready to embrace you with an open arms.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:00 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home