AB called me last night. he wanted to see me last night because apparently, he tried to reach me but i was never home. but i declined his offer because i made plans with my aunt to get our nails done and do some shopping. but we talked well. it was normal. we discussed our recent escapades and plans. i decided i would not let my emotions override nor ruin the wonderful conversation we had. for the time being, i ignored my discrepancies and the hurt.
so, i am going to see him tonight. i told myself i will not let his sweetness, wits, and charm overwhelm me. i promised myself i will be more cautious with my thoughts and to watch my words. i ensured that his smiles will not attract me --- again. i assented that i will avoid his long stares, his warm embraces, his kisses, and "sweet talks." i will not consent myself to like him more than i already do because it will just make things difficult to handle.
i am looking out for myself now. i realise i have to love myself before i can even love anyone. and trust me, i am working diligently at being better at that. i am fixing the shattered esteem and the moving away from the painful shadows of my past. i am seeking for the things that makes me special instead of what makes me not.
it will not be easy to disregard the critics who will continue to strip me of my sense of self. i am aware of the ardous process of uncompounding and manifesting my real self worth. i know it will be a tedious and a troublesome method. but everything is complex in this complicated world. one needs to disregard the intricate aspect of life and concentrate on the things that mattered most: family, friends, dreams, goals, the Lord.
this is my pledge to myself: i promise to love myself first...and MORE.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 5:40 PM
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