couple days ago, i received a surprising text from maffia 20 minutes before 12 midnight. surprising because maff is know to be the "sleeping beauty"---this girl can snooze like there's no tomorrow. it's her favorite past time. strangely awake late at this time as she often hits the sack earlier than most of the old folks i know ( LOL around 7 - 8 pm, she's shuteyed in her siesta). but even more oddly, i was also awake considering i am on multiple dos eof narcotics and pain relievers and antibitotics. it seems that i am developing resistance to my meds.
in fact, i did not have the urge to tuck my ownself to bed. i'm submerged in the deep sea of the unwanted commotions unraveling in my head. it almost felt like i'm riding a rollercoaster heading its way to the abysmal beneaths of the ocean.the insomniac behavior is unexplainable. so after several nail pounding, nail breaking SMS/text exchanges, i decided i'd call maffi instead and save my newly polished nails for further damage (talk about vain!).
"hoy!!!!how come you're not sleeping yet?"
"you think i can sleep? i can't sleep. i'm too stressed out to sleep. i'm just goin' thorugh a lot"
"why nga?"
then being my best friend for 11 years now, i almost predicted what she was going to say. so she vents out her recent dilemmas and stresses to me. then we talk about everything---it's almost as if the whole universe is part of our world. we discussed everything from the growing alyssa, her chaotic family, my melodramatic family, our stressing concerns and demanding obligations with both our families, that lunatic "she-needs-psychotic-evaluation" landlord, our aspiring dreams, our annoyance with the envious family members and supposed "friends & acquiantances "we have( the super mayabang ones and the pretentious wanna be rich relatives out there) then our never ending lovelife and then of course, our converstions will not be complete with our detailed, gossipy , ever so hearty "tsimis."
we chatted and exchanged stories and problems for what seemed forever. knowing maff, she blabs to me until one of us falls asleep ..until i am able to keep one eye shut and one eye open --she thinks i am still awake. but this time, i was wide awake and so was she but really, we just did not have enough time to deliberate about everybody's matters and involvement. then maff realized we've been parleying bubbly for hours. she still have to wake up early in the morning for her 9 to 5 office job. and so i am left to force myself to sleep.
catching up with maffia and holding meaningfil dialogues only me and her can understand are one of the precious moments of my life. she's the only person in this world whom i can trash out the bizzarre comments and ghastly thoughts i have in my head and yet, she interprets it precisely like i do. no other human in this planet have that ability to grasp things and identify matters almost exactly like i do. maffi is gifted with that. sometimes, i truly feel that it's difficult for her to fathom my thoughts and emotions. but even if she does, she never shows it and she supports my battles with me all the way.
when i feel as if the world turns away and misunderstands me, when the people around me ignores what i feel and disregards my inportance in their lives, when i am left out and the door shuts me down, when i feel unattractive, when i am detached, when i feel abnormal...maffi brings back some normalcy. though we can't be together in the same place physically at the same time, i know having her on the other end of the phone like, listening emphathetically and perceptively to my outlandish and grotesque encounters brings back sanity in my insane peculiar environment.
for that, maff i am very grateful having such wonderful friend in you. you are the true definition of a best friend: someone who will never judge you no matter what people say about you and someone who will fight every battle with you even knowing that sometimes they will have bruises and sometimes they willfail...but she fight for you anyway. i love yah, girl. we will get through our rough times.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:54 AM
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