+++ MY SILENT REVERIES +++

breaths of life
Tuesday, March 28, 2006

breaths of life

as a child, all i can ever do is dream about what i will be when i grow up. in my teens, i wrote 10 things i wanted to accomplish in my twenties. more than half of which i had already accomplished.

and then i dream some more.

and i'm left with intriguing wonder.

in five years time, will i be happily married with wonderful children or will i still be the lady i am now, inhaling life as it is, shopping MORE louis vuitton bags, taking a sip of caramel macchiatto at the grove's barnes and noble while doing my graduate thesis in my emerald green covered toshiba laptop?

i'm afraid, i guess, of being hurt...will everything from the past catch up to me and make me weak like back a month ago when someone dear to my heart pierced my esteem with angry words and accusation? or will i finally stand up to her all the time like i did the very first time when she attacked me with hostility and anguish?

will i end up going home to the philippines and look back at where i spent half of my life? will it stil be "home" for me as i feel as if, "los angeles" has been my home? or i will be in las vegas for good? las vegas is my ideal place to be. new york is too busy for me. los angeles is too close for comfort. modesto is ideal for family living and not single living. las vegas is just right.

will i live up to my childhood dreams? of a professional karaoke singer? (yeah, wishful thinking) of being a novel writer writing books with the likes of nicholas sparks or dan drown? (another one wish, of couse). or should i just take those flying a plane class and fulfill my dream of being a frustrated pilot?

did i find the love of my life? there were only two people who i have considered LOVES of my life. one of which got a girl pregnant and married that girl he said he did not loved and continues to call me and one of which his family did not approve of our relationship because we were not perfectly asianly matched. will AB be the love of my life? he's always the one who loved me for who i am. only God knows.

i'm not cynical. i'm just a realist.but i'm also a dreamer. and i'm just a wishful thinker.

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MY SILENT REVERIES

writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len

DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?

"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"

REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at

::EMAIL ME @ AOL::
:: EMAIL ME @ GMAIL
::FACEBOOK::
::AOL IM: XLENDCX::
::yahoo: YM::
::MYSPACE::
PREVIOUS POSTS

YACKETY YACK
i finally found her again. i used to read her blog...
"BANG!BANG!"
"he"
signals: how to know if a guy likes you
WISHFUL THINKING
whole
SPIRITUAL REVERIES: twenty dollars
SPIRITUAL REVERIES: prickles and stubbles
mr. dream boy

DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)

::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years

binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane

::ernie::
::joyce::
::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
::christine::

ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...

::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.

::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes

::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)

::todai::
::sanamluang::
::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.

::google::
::yahoo::
::ask::
::photobucket::
::blogger::

ARCHIVES