i will have the ....last laugh

when life goes down...I NEED GET UP and fight the battles.

DRAMA #1
yesterday was quite a misery. every unevitable, chaotic catastrophy i can think of, suddenly invaded my entire world. and in just one second, it has hit me. and boom, there i was, my whole soul is lying on the ground.

i have been jobless for quite a while now because the hospital here are so pickywith the nurses they want to hire. i had an eye on one of the biggest hospitals here in where i am. i turned in my application, i was interviewed. i felt somewhat confident i would get the job. i had the experience. i had numerous training in medical surgical floor. i acquired enough expertise and knowledge on hands on skills for treatment and prevention involved on this floor. i guess, i was too confident.

i had just came home from school and has been stressing out about my life here. on my way home, my asshole uncle( i am not related to him by any bloody means, he just happened to be married to my auntie who is my dad's sister), uttered, " len, i have a surprise message for you on the machine. it's a good news. put it on full volume so we can all hear it." so stupid me, believing i should trust his stupid comments, listened to the message. it was quite long.all i really heard was, " thank you for participating on the interview. but as of today, the positions were filled." in other words, it was their courteous way of saying, "sorry, you're not good enough for us. so ciao. bye."

okay, put it this way, i feel bad enough for what just happened. and instead of the normal, " it's okay, it's their loss, you'll get the job next time" comment from my uncle, his comment was, " you like my surprise?!" gosh, i held my tears hoping not to cry. i pretended i was okay and it didn't bother me. btu what does he do? rubbed it in even more. what an immature asshole! even auntie vicky was upset of him. even his own kids disowned him. i swear, if if wasn't a sin to kill, he would be number one in my list. i ended up crying. but i am so forgivign that i just told myself not to waste my time with assholes like him.

i'm just thankful for my auntie. she apologized for her husband's own actions. if nto for her, i would have left this house already. RRRrrrrr. bad thing is, i still have to live with him for another two months. God will help me, i'm sure.

DRAMA #2

i have been debating my relationship with ron. not only we engaged in many arguements but it's really irking my goddamn nerves. i mean, relationship shoudl be means of helping each other out, and of course, arguemtns are normal everyday thing but lately our relationship have been filled with storms that we kept attacking each other with angry words. every time i talkedto him, it ends into a fight. i can't even manage to handle a decent conversation. and the drama continues on....

i wanted a break.

not a break up. just a time to think things over. a space to breath. i need to get myself together. for both of us to sort our feelings, if we really need each other or...not. i have enough problems. hehas double the amount of mines. i just wanted some kind of peace of mind.

so we talked after a week of ignoring each other and throwing harsh comments. i cried to him last night. i said i was tired. and that if i was making hislife misarable, then i should leave. he hesitated. he said, he loves me too much. and i felt the same way and yet, we can't seem to put things in order lately.

after the long hours of talking, we agreed to start over again. i mean... a new start. a fresh beginning. where will this go? but i am willing to give it a second try. it might be worthied. besides, i love this guy so much. and he loves me, too.in this world, that's rare to find.

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life is full of challenges and people who redeem by putting someone's ego down. i encountered both yesterday. i realized i can't be perfect all the time. i can't live up to everyone's expectations. i can only conquer my own dreams. life will shower me tons of challenges. and i am going to have to experience all the obstacles ahead. but in the end, these will become the foundations of my strength. and the people who smeared my ego will be my inspiration to strive more, to fight harder and notlet all these frustrations destroy me.

after all, i fought so many battles of frustrations. besides, there are other people who believes in me, who loves me dearly. ron is one of them. i have forgotten how he's here to support me but in return, we need to compromise. and yes, our relationshipwill deal with more storms, perhaps even thunders, but stronger, we will get through it. because we are now aware of our strengths and weaknesses as individuals, btu together wefill up[ the empty spaces in between.

i vow to keep believing, to keep fighting, to keep challenging myself. and no one can stop me from achieving....nto even my asshole uncle, not even the hospital who didn't hire me....someday, i will be able to say,"sorry, it's your loss." because someday, this woman you just stepped on, will become a successful somebody.

keep putting me down, keep tarnishing my esteem, keep me challendge....

in the end, i swear, with all my blood , hard work, patience, determination, and sweat, i will have the last laugh.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:22 PM

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