UNSENT Dear my angel son in heaven baby Simon Hung,  I miss you. Yesterday, while cleaning my room,  I opened the box of your ashes and I broke down, bawled and cried. I miss you so much my son. I hope you're doing fine in heaven.  Mama can't stand the hurt. I fixed your new sanctuary inside the glades showcase that your dad,  Papa Simon/Hung built for me when we were still together. I collected angels all these years and all through out my childhood. I never knew you, my son, would be the greatest sacrifice of all time. I was cleaning up yesterday and the some of the collections fell and had to pick it up. Weirdly, the neighbor's dog started howling so loudly.  Even more strange, I was listening to the radio and a dedication was made for "Simon" whose had your name ( I named you after your Papa Hung; Simon was his American name). And I felt your presence my son. Are you trying to remind Mama you're here guiding me? My son...sorry, Mama broke down and cried in the middle of working and cleaning. I made you a new altar at the glass showcase with angel cherubims around you and all the memories and knickknacks that would remind you and me and your Papa (Some of them I hid for a long time. But had to bring out everything that reminded me of your Dad, Papa Simon...the Buddha, the frog with a coin, our pictures in a frame, the balloons, the stuff he built for me, your Papa's mom's Christmas gifts for me so you will never forget your Papa Hung.  It was harder for Mama to think of the pain of losing you in my womb my son. I could have been the greatest mom if I knew you existed my son. But God had to take you back and who am I to question God who gave you to me? He created you my son and let me borrow you even for just a short time;( And until now, I received a text from your Father's new fling that you Papa changed his number because your Papa wants to get away from me. And I'm angered but I'll keep my silence my son. Because I am doing it for you anak KO. No matter would ever want their son to suffer. So I want to keep peace despite the distance for you my son. Mama is sad missing you and thinking of you my son. It's a struggle everyday. Like I told your Tito Allan, I am merely existing and living just for the people I love for your grandpa, grandma and your aunties, uncles and cousins . But if it is up to me, I just want to hold you in my arms and join you wherever you are. I'm soooooo sad, my son. Guide Mama always. Play with Tobi and Ariel ( I hanged their clothes on my wall) after I fixed your altar. I miss them too my son. How is your Auntie Vicky (Your Papa's sister)?  I hope you're all happy in heaven.  If your Papa's new partner is really pregnant, her name is Tita Angela Garcia, take great care of your new baby siblings and look after them. At the end of the day, all Mama wants is the happiness of your Papa. Keep Papa's mom and dad and his other brothers and sisters and your twin cousins and cousin Andy and your Papa's family healthy. Look after them with your Papa's sister auntie Vicky.  Guide and take care of my family too my son. Always stay with them. Though you did not have the chance to meet them, they love you as much as I loved you. Let me know also that  your Tito "HABIBI" is the one. Mama is confuse and unsure if he is the one. But keep Mama strong and guided okay my son. Just lit your candle and played hour lullaby. I cried again. I missed you. Sorry if I do. I'm sorry it kills me. But I know you're always here with me. Stay with me always my son . Along with God, lead me my heart and my soul to the right direction.  I'll end it here my baby love son. Until our next conversation. I love you sooooo much and I would give up everything just to hold you once again and have you in my arms all over again. I'll see you my son and Papa in my dreams.  Love always and forever, Your Mama Len

posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:32 PM

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