paul says, "what's stopping you from chillin't it with me? i'm not going to kill yah. i juat want to spend time with you...just hang around. maybe watch a movie, or let's go shopping, or let's go to the beach...i just don't get it, len. every time your friends are there, youmake time for them but if it's me, you always have an excuse to make. it's not fair..."
eh. if you only knew.....life is never fair. and it will never be.
i loved glenn with all my heart. i sacrificed four long years. i forgave him at the times he cheated and gave him too many second chances. and one summer, he had an opporunity to go on vacation and he screwed around, had a "one wild night with a girl he barely met, who was also from the same town as his family was, got her pregnant, and so i broke i off with him and now, he is getting married because they have a baby together.
and "vampz" who supposedly loved me and as soon as i turned my back and he was upto someone "sexier". and vince, whom i thought i loved and i still care about and for no apparent reason, he was nowhere to be found. and ziggy, who kept goign back to me because he knew i will always be there for him but no, i decided, i am not tolerating there. and now, there's that asshole ron, (my korean ex), who promised me " whatever happens, my love was real and true" faded away like a bubble.
and he tells me " i'm not fair?"
you have no idea what i've been through. you don't know the cheating guys who broke my heart over and over again. you do not understand the pain that stabbed me and disabled me to love again or even like anyone. you were not there those nights i wanted to sleep but i couldn't because i was haunted with tears. how i go on my everyday life not knowign what to do because i am lost. i have been abandoned and used, and played like a fool.
i am not going to be that fool again. i am not going to let these guys step on me. that is the reason why i avoided your dates. i don't know why you keep asking me. you hined several times though. do you understand where i am coming from? i wanted to be cautious. i must not make the same mistakes i made. right now, i am not ready to go on dates with someone i do not completely know yet.
ahh. don't you get it? i'm just....i'm just....
i'm just...
scared.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 10:31 PM
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