"believe"

at the lobby of the previous nursing school where i graduated from as a vocational nurse, i watched the students walked in and out of the classrooms. i used to be one of them, dressed in my royal blue colored scrubs at school( we only wear our white uniforms at the hospital/clinical setting), hair above shoulders, wearing a gold pin on my left shoulder which has the image of the two snakes intertwining each other going towards the top and and there's the bird's wings on the top ( this pin is very significant because it symbolizes the efforts all nurses went through the hard labors of studying and training---we got in on the day we had a "pinning ceremony" or others call it, "capping ceremony," it is supposed to be the day we officially become "nurses"), with my name tag that states "student vocational nurse", my stethoscope around my neck and carrying heavy loads of gazillion and thick pages of nursing books. to add to that were the stressful looking faces with what it seemed like intense memorizing, reviewing or crumming for a pop quiz or an exam.

ahh. those were the days. i'm over that stage but i am working myself up to a higher degree. meaning: more tremendous amount of work, sleepless and tedious nights studying, less social life, but more rewarding career in the end.

and then....

"hello, ms. hoffer."

did she remember me?

maybe not.

she has a million students, you know. btu she smiled and replied "hello" back to me. did she recall who i was? well, i changed my hairstyle from curly then to straight & layered look with a little bit of burgundy streak now. she walked passed me. maybe, she was on a rush. after all, it is her lunch break.

so i sit there. i was waiting for the nursing department secretary to call on me and attend on my needs. so i sit there. thinking about the days when i used to be one of those big eye bagged students. i miss those days. it was difficult but it was where i built ME and where i chose to be wha i am doing now. who will ever wonder i graduated to be a vocational nurse at the age of 19? i am 23 now!

"so, how are you doing? what have you been doign with your life lately?"

then she smiled. she came back to asked me that? i'm not even sure if she remembered me. so eagerly, i asked,

" ms. hoffer, do you even remember me? i mean, you had so many students over the years. i figured you might remember my face but perhaps, maybe not, too."

"oh, i remember you. i had you in second module. you were with me in good samaritan hospital with me at downtown los angeles. you always stood out. that smile, that assertiveness, that persistence. you were one of the few i will always remember. i remember your patient with AIDS or that patient with whole body paralysis that you took care of and died. i remembered your determination and your hard work. well, so how are you, my dear?"

"i've been great. i just moved back from northern california. i am a registered nursing student now but also a biology major with a minor in english. i figured if i don't like nursing in the long run, i want to be a doctor or a professor in biology. i am just taking it step by step. one at a time. i'll be done in a year time. i'll update you, ms. hoffer. i promise.

*big sigh*

she remembered everything about me. my first AIDS patient that died and had a great impact on my outlook towards people with HIV and AIDS. the woman who had abortion but the surgery had nosocomial infections and reactions that it triggered mental blocked and she's practically a vegetable, livign under a machine. she remembered the hospital...that was my hardest training in my entire bursing career ever. wakingup at 3 am after working my night job until 1 in the morning, being at the hospital at 4: 3) am sharpe because intructor's hate it when the students are late. the literally gushes of blood, the suction machine, the linked and intertwined tubes on my patients body....gosh. you can just imagine.

but now, i stand proud. i survived those days ( we started with 60 students.only 20 of us graduated and i was oneof the 5 who had an honor and award). i was a fighter, after all. ms. hoffer, my clinical instructor remembered me. she recalled my determination, my will to overcome battles in my life, my strength to try my best.

i feel rejuvenated. i needed her remarkable compliments towards me because i have been feeling low lately. it is so overwhelming to know that i left a lastign memory on them..on her. i am inspired, once again. i am prepared to stand on my own feet again and conquer my dreams. people like ms. hoffer believed in me. i owe it to people like her.

i should believe in myself because i can make it. i am capable of it. no one can stop me. thank you, ms. hoffer for not only teaching me the fundamentals of being a good nurse, but also for making me realise my self worth and most importantly, for reminding me to "believe."

ponder.....
"believing is a magic that makes a dream come true..."

do you believe? TELL ME!b>

posted by pinay freestyle @ 7:11 PM

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