i usually see the sparkling moon shining brightly above the skies when i walk ariel. the twinkling stars around it makes it even more stunning. in my days of stress, it has been part of my destressing medium.

i particularly needed to unstress today. the elongated lists of doctors' appointments are overwhelming. undergoing the medical tests are even scarier( such has having your nerves electricuted or spending two to three hours of your day stuck in a closed suffocating MRI machinein freezing temperature is tediously tiring ) what's the worse part of it all? not knowing what the next diagnosis for me after all these battery tests are exhausting.

to add to that the misery of love life, the hopes of people who come and go, the array of men that your friends "hook you up" with, the exes who attempts to win you back...and here i am, i just can;t get over the pain of a broken heart. and how i wish i can just completely heal.

i walked ariel late tonight. it was around 11 pm already. as usual, i attached the ipod earphones to my ear, blasting with my favorite tunes and endured my daily stroll with my dog. and as usual, i was mesmerized of how clear the sky was. my stars twinkled brightly. but my moon was nowhere to be seen tonight. it might have been covered by the hazy clouds above me. and it felt incomplete.

as i walked around my block, and the cold breezy wind chilled my face, i once again felt so empty. with my arms wrapped around me to warm me from cold, i walked there feeling bare. here i am, i might have almost all the luxury that many asked for but....i am incomplete.

after the routined walk around the block, i felt weirdly puzzled. maybe like the missing moon, there are several things that are missing in my life. and everyday, the same way, i almost twisted my neck, looking where i could find the moon, i search for that missing link.

maybe sometimes, we need not to seek for it. it will just come naturally. like for instance, eventhough, the moon is not visibly present in my sight tonight, i know it is there and it will continue to protect me every night.

maybe, i need not to search what i am looking for or what i think is missing in my life. in its proper time, it will show up like the moon that was missing tonight.

and i'll just wait. i will patiently wait.