ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. isn't it funny how one person can walk into our life and right at that moment we think that they are the one? isn't it strange how after all the tears, and the hurt and the pain we still think that they are the one? isn't it funny how no matter what this person does to us or say to us, in our heart we still feel that they are the one?
seriously, i still asked myself, why is that? why do we make fools out of ourselves in the hope that they will love us back like they did. when i was younger, i took the blame by heart. and then the heartache became too much to handle that i finally realized the saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you. i came to my senses that i have to love me first then love him.
and so as difficult as it was i thought of the right time: that it was time for me to keep on walking and not look back.(that's what i told myself anyway upon walking away). i certainly tried to convince myself, maybe it just wasn't our time to shine..to be inlove. i decided that i could no longer wait forever for him to make up his mind whether he wanted me there or not. he had the entire world standing right in front of him (ME) and yet, he chose to look the other way.
of course... it hurts, i never denied that, but time was my healer( and i am healed but the scars remained) i came at peace at the realization that he turned out to be someone that i should not want to be with. in fairness though, he had so much potential to be so much more than he is now...but bleh - no more excuses of those "what-if-we-ended-up-together" days.
and know what? i am just grateful. thank God, i am too strong minded i was able to tell him then it was not okay that he hurt me. strangle, but i am doing fine. i deserved more, i deserved someone better and greater than what he was. and i know that now.
and maybe he knew that, too. and he realized that inside. perhaps, he knew that could not give me "the better him" yet. so, with his own silence of not saying goodbye ( i said good bye to him first and i never heard from him again), he must have meant he set me free.
we would have been so great. he would have never wished for more than i would have given him. but he was too scared to give it a chance. so now, i guess, he will never know what it could have been.maybe now, he regrets it. or maybe someday, he will think it was the best decision he has ever made.
but maybe someday he will see me walking, smiling and happy, along side someone who is also smiling and happy because he has my heart. maybe then he will stop and he will realize what he was missing. i certainly hope that someday wil come.
what i know for sure is, someday, someone is going to thank him for letting me go. in these game of in love and losing love, i have only learned one thing: i would rather forgive and forget (whatever it is), than just relive and regret.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:47 PM
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