"wingmaker"
[Note: disregard the entry before this. i was upset with "him" but he made up for it. so i forgave him. life has so much drama...can't you see?]

there were uncountable encounters in my life when challenges pushed me down and i literally fell: from a house getting burned, to school pressures, to "being perfect and NOT being perfect," to social issues, to finding good and true friends, and to mending a broken heart, these were just a few of these instances. instances that slowly injured and broke my wings each and every time.
but throughout all these comodities, he stood there...if not right next to me, he stood behind me making sure that he caught me each and every moment he thought i can not fly anymore.

i remember the time i felt "dumb," not being able to accomplish the things i needed to achieve in school, he reminded me that "only the one who works hard perseveres." that dreaming is not enough to achieve my goals but rather waking up and working hard at it will. that i should never give up because a lot of people think i am doing wonderfully considering the odds i have been through. he told me, "rising above the obstacles" has been my best asset.

at times i feel ugly and insecure, he tells me how cute i look in my outfit or how much he loved my curly hair. he points out how my smiles looked geniune in my pictures. he always asked how much perfume i sprayed on me because it becomes the airfreshner in his car.

but the most difficult moments for me is when someone i loved breaks my heart.
it hurts even more when i find out that they cheated on me. not only does it damage my self esteem but it really really triggers me emotionally. there were so many nights that i cried myself to sleep. or sometimes i used working 18 hours or even more as "painkillers:" just something to numb the pain.

but these were also the significant times, he stayed there with me: NO QUESTIONS asked.
one time, after my two years relationship with ron, i cried to him. i remember him picking me up from home and wed rove to this huge open space park with a football field. and i asked him what were we doing there. he just guided me to a walk. we walked around that park and he held my hand and he said, "just cry it off...cry it off while i am here." that night, i cried in his arms while wa walked hand in hand around that football field.

one other time, jason and i had "exes" issues going on and i had to drop off eveyrhting he gave me to him because i was so mad. at three o clock in the morning, "he" took me to riverside- a 45 minutes drive one way just to do what i am supposed to do. that car ride was painstakingly killing me. i cried in silence because i was too shy to cry infront on him but he handed me a tissue to i can let it all out again.

last time when i found out han had someone new and that was around valentines, he took me out to a dinner and have the mariachi band serenade me a love song. i was so heartbroken that night but having him there with me, reminding me how to smile, making fun of my lovelife's drama eased the twinge i felt.

just recently, i told him about how i felt with the situation regrading his birthday and also dealing with the issues i have with ron's situation, and again, he helped me again even knowing that he has to wake up at 1:30 am to do me a favor.

gosh....how many times have i broke my wing? how many times did i fall? how many times did you teach me how to fly again? how many times will you fix my wings? you never complained. you never asked for anything in return(liek last night, i was hungry and you took me out to eat at 2 in the morning). sometimes, i want to do so much for you. and yet, you refused.

so how can i ever thank you, my wing maker? you ve been so much more to me than you ever imagine. sometimes, i want to tell you while you are there infront of me. but i am scared...because i don't want to lose you. because quite frankly, all these years, you are the most wonderful thing that happened to me.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:51 PM

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