Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Saturday, June 11, 2005

birthday woes

he day of "his" birthday

" happy birthday!, " she exclaimed.

it was his birthday.he thought she forgot about it. he was happy she actually remembered. she asked her how he was going to spend his birthday: what were his plans and with who. he answered he had plans with mom for a dinner. so she decided she would ask for another day to celebrate his birthday.

day after "his" birthday

again, she asked him, "so any plans today?"

" well, i will be with the "guys.,[ you know my friend who is one of the chef of j lo's madres...(blah blah, blah)] " he responded. she did not want to hold him back to spend time with his friends. she wanted him to have fun. so once again, she refrained to ask him.

2 days after "his" birthday

"so are you off today?" for the third time, she inquired.

" i am going to have dinner with friends [no name in specifics]".

grr. she's really gettign angry this time but she hid it so well.

" oh okay..." she responded.

later that night, he called her.

" so you had fun with your dinner?" she asked him.

"actually, i had dinner with people you least expected me to have dinner with," he said.

"huh? who would that be?, " she wondered.

"those people who only calls me when they need something if they needed me for a ride, for books to borrow...or to recruit me to become "iglesia" ---you know the two sisters," he said.

she thought he said he doesn't really like them because they just "used" him. and now he's with them? even worse, he spent dinner with them? why? she doesn't get it. he paints a black and white picture of these girls' personality and then when they are right there in front of him, it's a different color showing.

she's pissed...

she's hurt....

she felt alone.

she only wants to spend time with him on his birthday after he had spent time with his close family and friends. can't she spend time with her "guy" bestfriend? can't she have a quiet moment with her best friend like they do all the time? does he care? does he even know?

that she feels abandoned?

that she feels isolated?

that she is falling for him?

that she was me?

someday. he'll know.

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MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


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PREVIOUS POSTS
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DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
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::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
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::rijah::
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ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
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::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
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