Sunday, March 09, 2003
salad bowl

i have embraced silence lately. it was the best response for all the things life has given me. first was my finaly goodbye to ron. second is my dilemma at school ( i started a petition for a professor to be fired....she does not teach and she gets 9,000 monthly, NO...i don't think so) and then my own shares of family problems and stresses at work. i transferred school by the way. through it all, i remained quiet.

i spent a whole lot of hours locking myself in my room. sometimes, i stared at the ceiling for hours. other times, i am too tired to think so i sleep it all away. however, there were many times i could not sleep late at night. i have thought of ron so many times. most of the times, tears fell form my eyes. the pain is still too fresh and in great immense. the wound is still bleeding. and yet, i miss him. sometimes, i wish i have the perfect world of having everything and not worry about life too much. but then in that case, life would be meaningless.

without these countless miseries and challenges, my life would be nothing. these are the things that prove that i can handle anything. for instance, before, our house burned down. my ex boyfriend of four years, glenn, got a girl pregnant and had to marry the girl. that passed. for a while, i thought my life collapsed. i got back up on my feet. i met ron, we built a new house, i established a well paying job.

there is a rainbow in every storm and thunder. and the sun will shine. my life right now is not perfect. it will never be. someday, i will meet the right mate, someone who will take care of me and not break my heart. some day, i will be a doctor or a nurse practitioner devoting my time to cure and heal people. or perhaps, i can teach sharing myknowledge in nursing and science. someday, i will be able to help my siblings and my parents so they would not work as hard as they do now. someday......

i am grateful for the challenges. i thank god for the tearful nights and sad moments for these moments allowed me to rise above. i appreciate the times when i am alone because these were the times i reorganized my life. i thank my mom for the lectures because she opens my eyes to wisdom and knowledge of life ( somebody has to tell me to get back up!!!!!). i thank my poppa for always the wind beneath my wings. my brothers who adds humor and my sisters who keeps me sane. i am thank ful for my cousins for their undying support. and my friends for the company and love.

life is a salad bowl of different challenges. some bitter, some are sweet, some bearable, some are not, some are textured and some are soft. regardless, we need to swallow it because it does some good to our selves. i do nat have the comforts every one have. i do not have everything. but i have a family who loves me, i have a dream that i am working hard to achieve. through it all, i just need ot be thank ful. and not forget that the sun continues to shine tomorrow despite of the gloomy storms of today.




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MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


::EMAIL ME @ AOL::
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PREVIOUS POSTS
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DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
::joyce::
::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
::christine::

ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
::sanamluang::
::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
::yahoo::
::ask::
::photobucket::
::blogger::

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