let me sob

love hurts.

no.

love really freakin' hurts.

i was thinking of him again: how he giggled, how he laughed, how he says i am crazy, how he wins me back when i am upset. alone...when i am driving, when i'm at school, work is even unbearable. my everyday just meddled into a painful silence.

i thought i was fine. i thought i was going to move on already. i thought o am to explore other things: to date other men, concetrate on school, go on vacation, go surfing ( again) or go to the mountains and learn how to snow board. but i'm invaded by his memories. something i had been tryign to erase and ignore and now, it's all coming back.

how fdid this started any way?

all i recalled is that, all the sudden i thought of him again.

and i realized, i miss him.

no , God, i miss him so much.

but i felt as if, my heart is handcuffed. i can not do anything. i am too powerless. and even if i did have the power, power is not enough to win him back. he decided he can not fight for me the way i fight for him. before, he said, "hold on" and to "wait" and that he "still loved me." power is not enough because love has to go with it. and he can not give me love any longer.

it's so hard to move on every day reminding myself that i can no longer be a part of him because he has dreams to achieve. and in order for him to achieve those dreams, i have to be set aside. perhaps...more like erased.

and once again, through these all, i have to remind myself this slogan: be strong.

in time, i will be.

in time, i will smile.

but for now, let me weep.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:23 PM

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