daughter's desire

so often, you seize for my mistakes in the past,
and criticise me precisely for the little negativities i make,
that you overlook my accomplished goals and grand achievements
which were the things i work so hard for
... just to please you.
...just to make you proud.

mom,
all my life, i endeavored to be someone.
and I AM someone.
perhaps, in couple of months,
i will be
better,
smarter,
and more successful than i am now.

but in your eyes, these are never enough.
there's always something you have to pinpoint.
the way i chew my food, the way i wear my pants,
how i prounounce a certain word..was it the right grammar?

how can i fix my tarnished esteem and damaged soul
that's been repetitively torn and destroyed into little crumbly debris?
when each and every time i struggle and attempt
to restore each of the decapitated particle of my shattered portions,
you dismantle me even more with negative emotions, and "put-me-down" lectures,
you quence me into what it seemed to be like powdery, porous fragments,
almost too microscopicly visible specks,
too refine, too impalpable, too delicate,
too loose to hold intactly together.
it's so difficult and firstarting
because any ticking second the strength i have invested in me
will collapse with just one blow of criticism from you.

mom...
all my life,
i never asked for anything more than i have,
but for once,
i wished to hear one thing from you,
just for me to see you with your head up high
just for you to say it proudly,
just one phrase...
even just once...

"ah. yes. she's my daughter."

posted by pinay freestyle @ 2:28 PM

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