it's 3 am. and the thought of sleep is not invading my mind. i was talking to ron ( R ) earlier and he was so sleepy. i suggested that i should hang up and he should get some sleep and all he kept saying, " please, don't hang up on me until i am sleeping." and he mumbled some other phrases but the only part of it i understood was, " hey...len...i love you." and then he slept on me.
i wrote him a love letter the other day while i was at work. i told him how much i felt the same way but the thought of love is scaring me. but i did assure him that if he wanted to know what i felt for him, i did felt the same for him and i loved him the same way. but we have things ot attend on right now. and we must wait for the perfect time for us to be together. for the mean time, we are each other's backbones. and we are getting closer, we are discovering more about each other , and our emotions are getting intense and stronger as each day approaches.
i cried to him today. i couldn't explain what my feelings are for him. there are no sufficient words. i encountered the same attachment to my exes in the past. but i never felt his sincerity. i am not used to being pampered. no one in my pasts have ever asked " what is your symptoms right now?" and suggested, " drink your hot tea," "make sure you eat," "don't work too much." i was never used being "babied." i am always the one doing the babying.
and his amazingness is putting me on this awkward awe because i do not exactly know how to react. he knows that i care for him deeply. and i would do anything and give up everything for him just as long as he is happy. his concern for me placed me in a comfort zone i have never been before. once, i hoped for peacefulness and with ron, i feel that peace. i mean, that security that i know FOR SURE that he will take very good care of me.
but more has yet to come between me and ron. and there will be tough times and not so happy moments, but the important thing is we are sharing the load together. ron is giving me this capability to believe in myself and to be stronger especially through the tough times. and i, on the other hand, gives him motivation. together, we compliment each other. together, we comply with each other's needs. together, we work with each other strengths and weaknesses. yes, we do argue and disagree, but together, we manage to patch up and recognize our differences. after all, these are the qualities that sets both of us apart from each other.
ron knows i care for him and how he makes me happy. it's just he has no clue how much he mean to me and how much he adds brightness to my days. if it was up to me, i would not want this sparkles to cease. someday, i will give him access to this blog. maybe then during those times, he will know why my smiles are different now a days...it is because he made me smile this way.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 3:28 AM
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