reading other blogs, i felt as if my entries were so lame and inarticulate. do you ever get the sense of getting lost in something you are reading? that's what i felt reading some of other people's blogs today. i mean, these people are so eloquent and real that i can relate to things tehy discussed beyond words. for instance, there was this guy who uttered about how he missed his girlfiend because she left her pair of earrings in his room and seeing the earrings there reminds him of her, or there's another blog that talked how the rain played a vital role while he and "his someone special" made love, others discussed love....what it's like to love, to be loved, to let go of that love, or just a new love. ahhh, i'm in awe. what even makes these blogs dear to me is the fact that most, about 90% of it, are written by men. where can i find these men?it seems that i have been involved with hafl witted, imbecilic, and insensitive guys. and i am beginning to hate myself for it.
i wonder sometimes if glenn feels like these towards me.does he missed me whenever he sees my things around his house? i puposely left him my personal things so it would remind him of me. one thing i loved about glenn is his macho zeal. he pretends to be this tough, ghetto person , putting a facade of "strength and tower" infront of his friends who looked up to his bravery and courage. but behind close doors, i see another glenn. the one who writes me letters at two in the morning because he simple felt like it and that i "should cherished that letter" because it "was only going to be once in a blue moon", the one who draws me "bouquet of roses" when he can't give me the real one, the one that sings to me "nothing's gonna change my love for you" or "i finally found someone" in an off toned voice and yet, he'sproud of that (he thinks he's a very good singer...hehehe), the one who cries to me and says, " my heart is aching," the one who calls me up at four am before he goes to work and tells me i will be in his thoughts and that he will miss me so. ahh. i miss him again.
i knew inch does because that was one of the things i loved about him. hes; the type who would write me poems and long letters telling me exactly what he feels. you see his insensitivity. it's evident. he will treated me like a queen, as if i was on a pedestal. he literally worships and adores you. he's just one of a kind. but like any other men, he also have his "negativity" which i discovered later.
"oj," on the other hand, is the type that doesn't express any words but it is obvious inhis actions that he is showing a "caring gesture." i think he is more like me. i don't say "i like you" or "i love you" to anyoen unless i really mean it. besides, it takes me a while to blurt out those words. just to give you a taste: it took me half a year to tell glenn i loves him. speaking of oj, i have been thinking of "oj" lately. he left to the philippines for vacation. he's a very good friend. i don't think i would go for him because i don't want to destroy a friendship. i guess, i just miss his company.
people i have dated (too many to mention) have been calling me the past weekend and today telling me how they've missed me. what's that supposed to mean? does that mean they liked me? eww. most of them thinks i am fun to be with. there was this one guy who begged me for a kiss. i hesitated. but i agreed to give himoen anyway for " a very a fine evening." see, i don't know if they wanted the kiss for sensitivity's sake or just for the reason that it turns them on. i know for sure, i do it for sensivity's sake. i kissed them because they deserved it. but that's where it stops.
so if these men, if they really want me, they have to take all the risks, double their efforts, put on their sensitivity caps, bring out the "casannovas" and the "hopeless romantics" within them and pursue me with the best of their abilities. otherwise, no chance baby. what can i say, i am a hopeless romantic,t oo. it just takes all these hardwork or more for it to be evident.
question of the day: is he/she sensitive about your needs and desires?
posted by pinay freestyle @ 8:30 PM
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