Wednesday, July 17, 2002
parade

every 7: 30 am at the hospital, i meet with the nurses from the grave yard shifts. from there, they endorse me the nursing reports consisting of the new admissions, discharges, patient's health status and the treatments and medications. sometimes, we would exchange chit-chats, too. then off they go home to sleep and then their nights start again after my shift ends at 7:30 pm.

mezmerizing when i walk the "employees only" hall and entrance when i go home from work. as i walked through the hall, i am greeted with all kinds of specialized nurses in their variety of colorful uniforms. whoever they are, what ever nationality they are, they would say "hello" and i would smile and say the same( we call it the five feet rule: whenever a staff approach you, you say hello and they will, too, in return).

you should see it. i call it the "parade of nurses". nurses from both shifts are exiting and entering the hospital premises. their artistically decorated uniforms flood the hall with colors. some in white, some in blue or pink or yellow or green. but all them with the label " nurse" in their hearts. ]

these are the nurses.

i am one of them.

yes, the doctor gives the diagnosis and orders the treatments and medications. but it is in our gentle touch and warm hearts and nursing implementations that makes our patients well. their smiles brightens up the patients' days. their caring contibutes to their patients' wellness.

as i walk that hall, i contemplate what would my other options be hadn't i become a nurse? i thought about it as i approached the exit door. the night shift nurse approached me and said, "good night. have a good sleep..i smiled and said, " i hope you have a good night, too." as i pass by a little hispanic girl, she greeted me with a huge smile and says hello. i smiled back. in spanish, she told her mom, " mom, when i grow up, i want to be just like her. " an "infirmera", she said. something i told my mother, who is also nurse, when i was a little girl.

regarding my other job option? naa. i don't think i see myself somewhere else. no computers or machinery can replace my job. only a nurse's gentle affection and lots of patient caring can make the sick and the ill be healthy again.

and i am darn proud i am one of the many who represents them

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MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


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"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

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my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









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