i slept talking to my peasant, ron, last night. it's been so long. and we talked about everything i need to hear. of course, he made me cry. he admitted his mistakes, he was selfish and assured he will NEVER leave like the way he did. he said we are "not over." but we are on "holding on" stage. it's mumbo jumbo of dramas.

but it felt good. i was able to cry it out to him. i was able to tell him he was unfair. it was not fair. i was able to tell him, despite ll of it all, i love him. that i will be there NO MATTER WHAT.

his response, " i know i was selfish and i was stupid and i am truly so sorry.but through this all, i never stopped loving you, len."
i smiled.

i can't tell you how much i truly love this guy. we have been through a lot. but slowly, we are surviving and we are holding on. loc made a comment the other day, " you really love this guy, huh?" in the back of my head, i told myself, " more than he will ever know. i love him more than he will ever realize. "

ron, i love you very much, more than you will ever know.

(P. S> for my one year anniversary with ron ( august 7, 2002), i printed out all the entries i have in here that had something to do with him. i am mailing it to him so he can read it. he doesn't know. but it 's more like our love story. i hope he likes it.)

posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:45 AM

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