What's been up....

---Maff left to __________. Sorry I can't say. I'm excited for her, and feeling pity for myself for "staying single."I just hope everything is going as planned. I am assuming it is because she is not calling me.

----OJ took me to class today which is weird. He asked me if I wanted to go target shooting. I really want to go. But I am just not comfortable being with him alone. I don't know if I am attracted to him .I don't think I am. I want to know if he is though. But nope, I will never ask him. Let's just leave that unsaid, for now.

----I had my last day of class today. Next week is finals but that shouldn't be that hard. I just got through the most difficult part of the semester which term papers. So anyways, Steve, Nelia and I went to Jollibee in Carson. We always go there anyway. But we went to Del Amo Mall. Drivign there, I thought of Inch. He always shops there. What it I saw him there? Ewww. But Scuba Steve bought a watch (Fossil with a Superman logo) and Nelia bought the Destiny's Child CD which I liked a lot. There was a song there entitled, "He Must Be," and I keep thinking of Glenn. But "he's not the one for me." He will never be.

IF ONLY.....
I'm depressed AGAIN. I am just feeling lonely. I knwo I go out a lot and I socialize as much as I can but as I uttered in my previous posts, I miss having that special someone. For the past three years, I am used to securely knowing someone cared for me and loved me. I'm accustomed to having someone ask me if I was okay and if everything went fine. I adapted to waking up in the morning being held and sleeping with a good night kiss. Routinely, I would get love notes, gifts, roses here and there from the one I love. Customarily, he'd bring me klunch and I'll visit him from work. And I get those odd phonecalls. I don't know. And now, in a snap of a finger, I am alone..on my own without anyone to share the things I encountered every day. This is one of the reason why I precoccupy myself. At least, I venture out on other things. But now, since things had loosen up, I have nothing to do but to overanalyze and overthink things again.

TO PONY-If you can only read my entries. If only....things were different. If only, you didn't "hurt" me. If only......

posted by pinay freestyle @ 3:09 PM

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