Everybody questioned me why I pursued nursing for a profession instead of something else. Initially, I yearned to be a pilot or join the airforce. I mentioned before I grew up playing with my little brother and my guy cousins. I was never a fan of "girly things." I actually took the military entrance exam and passed it with flying colors but my parents thought that military is "too manly" for me.
Nursing was my second choice. I just figured I can't deal with any other profession that deals with sitting down all day. It has to be an occupation where I have direct human contact since I am a "people" person. My mom is a registered nurse. My older sister tried her luck in a Medicine/Health because it was my mom's desire to at least have one of us trail a career in the medical field. But after first semester of college, she switched from BS Biology, to BS Chemistry and then eventually, became a Political Science and Psychology major.She is now one year away from being a full pledge lawyer.
Then I turned into the picture. I can't be in the military so what the heck, fo rthe sake of it, be a nurse. Primitively, I thought of nursing as a carreer I grew up on because over the years, I saw my mom treat her patients. I respected her profession greatly. But it was just that. I guess, at first, I never saw myself wearing a white uniform.
But that all changed.
In nursing school, I learned more about what it takes to be a nurse. It's not a career that you choose by pointing your finger while wearing a blindfold. One has to have compassion, fondness, and love for it. I admit, nursing school gave me torture and torment ( and until now, I am dealing with it!) but at the same time, it made me understand humaneness and benevolence. It is not about just healing people physically but also curing them emotionally and mentally. It is about life, maintaining health, and death in a holistic aspect of the mind, body, and the soul. It's about being a mentor, a friend, a listener, a health maintainer, a caregiver, an authority, a confidant...a human. Not only is it an occupation, it's a responsibility of human act.
In my three years of being a nurse, I gradually earned the dedication to be one. I slowly absorbed my enthusiasm for my chosen field due to various factors. Perhaps, it was the first time I witnessed a mother bearing her child and tears fell from her eyes because of joy or the period when I took care of "Patty,"an AIDS patient, who taught me clemency and empathy towards HIV positive patients. She later died. Maybe, it was the hard blow of accepting death especially with every day people that I deal who have Cancer, or AIDS. Perhaps, it's the hope I see in the children who have terminally ill diseases. How can they have so much hope when they knew someday they will be dying because of their ailment? But I think, it's mainly of the heartfelt "thank you's" I received from the patients and families whom I becamse so attached and even friends with. There are many more and it's just too much to mention.
Today, I watched a television special that featrured with children with cancer, AIDS, Mental retardation and so on. Some are alive, some are on remission, but most eventually died. I can't help but shed a tear. I realized no matter how much they trained you in nursing school to control your emotions, it all comes down to one thing...I realized I am just human.
I attained self confidence and job satisfaction in my chosen field. It makes me feel good that I am able to lend a helping hand and be a someone to a person in need. But one the negative aspect of it, not all will be helped. And it is at these times when I feel as if I failed. But I could not do anything about it. I see my patients die and witnessed their families cry. As a nurse, I tell them, these things happen and that their lovedones are now in a happier place where they belong. But behind closed doors, tears are falling from my eyes and like them, I also mending my aching heart.
Perhaps, this is the main reason why I learned to love nursing and devote my life to be in this field. After all, not all the people in this world can say they have a demanding and challenging job and satisfying, as well.
But I know....I do.
posted by pinay freestyle @ 12:21 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home