Death an Dying

"Lola" (Grandma) Marcelina, a granny I grew up with and very close knit extended famiyl of mine, died two days after Mother's Day. Last night, I was at Forest Lawn In Hollywood Hills for the Memorial Service. I saw my cousins Geng and Tin there with my aunties and lola. I even saw this one guy who I saw in a retreat a year ago. I just realized he looked like Glenn. I was eyeing him and he's eyeing me.

Today was Lola's funeral service and burial. While all these people are acknowledging how wonderful Lola Marcing was, I started crying. The memories of her "chicken adobo" and "coffees at 4 am " were brought up. Growing up, she always fed us. On Sundays, I will ALWAYS see her. Her dedication and love for the Lord is inspiring. She was special to me and so as the other people who was there.

But it's mainly the thought of death that's bothering me. I started thinking about my Papa. My father had stroke a year ago and I am still dealing with the pain now. I just realized, anytime, my Lord, can take him and my mom away from me.And it is a difficult thought to think about. When he had a brain surgery that left him in a month coma, and now, with a right side weakness, I couldn't even go to his hospital room because I didn't want to see him weak. I couldn't imagine what he 's growing through.

I see these difficult emotions to deal with in Lola Marcelina's kids and grandkids. It was difficult for me. It must be extra difficult for them. Then Pastor Padilla said, " In life, there's three thing's we all need to remember. One, we will get sick. Second, we will suffer. Third, we will eventually die. And we must accept that and give our ilife to Him above."

I am not sure when this moment will come for me nor my family. I am only SURE that I will have a rough time especially that I am very attached to my Papa. I am only SURE that I offered my life to my Lord and that anytime, he can take it away from me and I willingly give it to Him.

posted by pinay freestyle @ 3:25 PM

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