Thursday, January 19, 2006
SPIRITUAL REVERIES: the real me

I've lived a fruitful life one can never even imagine: I've stared at fear eye to eye and conquered it. I've witness trauma and faced death more than I can even handle it. I've experienced gazillion parties and all its negative aspects (alcohol, drugs, gangs, mafias, clicks, etc....)at a very young age to the point of its puking saturation. I've encountered the most chaotic and bloodiest battles in the world whether it is physical,mental and emotional.

I've had my share of downfalls and failures. I've loved with all my heart and soul..sometimes too much it has become destructive. and I have hurt people closed to my heart also.Ironically, I've also had my fragile heart broken so many times that I wondered how LOVE feels now.

See, I'm not the perfect person in the world. I'm bound to make errors and I have. But one thing I've learned about living life is to ask forgiveness for the mishaps you might have committed in the past. I've learned and embraced that there is a God who forgives and loves you anyway despite of your shortcomings.

There is no manual that can teach an individual about growing up wisely.My past taught me that. It has shaped me to be the person I am today: the one who is quite different from her shadow. I am the EQUATION of my past. My past, however, does not define me. Perhaps, that explains why I AM ME now: strong, fun and fearless female.

My parents have been extremely understanding for always putting up with my wild and crazy behaviors then. My siblings are very patient individualswho can handle me at my best and worst. My circle of friends are the most loyal and courageous group of people I know because they fought and stood up for me with every battle I faced. My cousins are my worst critics and the most reliable advisers. AB is one tough guy for putting up with this one "bitchy and moody" female who is an overachiever and meticulous about things. Only a calm man like this can make a lady with strong personality shut up like a tamed lion

On the contrary to my past, I am now blessed with so much more than I could ever ask for. I have excelled in school and thought that this is the greatest gift I can give my endearing folks. My parents definitely gave me my wings to fly again. I am almost in the epitomy of my ardeous goal. My profession allows me to share myself and my skill earned capabilities not only to heal and cure the sick mind and tired body but to also inspire the broken heart and uplift the weary souls, more like the "silent angel" I can be. My siblings, niece and nephew never failed to shed their unconditional love. My cousins, aunts and uncles are my rock. My friends and peers at church are my braved soldiers who clings to me and prays for me all the way.

In return, I vowed to reach out to as much people as I can. It can be thru serving a hot meal to starving guy at the local shelter. It can be simply giving a spare change to a homeless lady on the street. It can be educating the gunshot wounded young man about turning his life around. It can be holding a dying patient's hand until her last breath. It can be writing a simple "thank you" notes telling people you love how much you appreciate having them in your life. It can be teaching the little children the teachings of the bible. Or performing medical missions in your local poverty stricken areas of the city or poor countries like Mexico or Philippines.

Sometimes, it's also making chicken soup for the one you love and staying all night just to make sure he was okay. Maybe, telling an exboyfriend or fling that you forgave him for whatever reason he has hurt you and vice versa, asking for frogiveness.Reaching out maybe allowing your baby brother throw the biggest fun filled party willingly once in a while. Or hanging out with your older sister at the local mall for some shopping-bonding time. It can be calling your cousins on the cell just simply just to "listen." But perhaps the greatest is praying for them all for their safety and good health.

I may not be the greatest individual ever but I am learning to live my life now according to the Lord's purpose. I have a calling. I don't know what yet specifically. But I know, He will guide me. And I know no matter what mishaps I encounter in the near future, He will forgive me as long as I ask for consideration. I am me. These are the events that makes me human. But the greatest part about it is one can reverse all the negatives if one choses to. I am the living example. Learn from me.

{Lord, I know through you, I shall fear no evil for you are the "God who [never] fails to give us strenght in everything that we do." (Philippians 4:1-3) Use me in many ways I can inspire others. So when the time comes when we enter your gates and you asked us, "what have you done in earth my son/daughter for me to let you into my kingdom?" We can answer, "we've done everything according to you and your purpose." Forgive us our shortcomings and give us grace to share others your love and your teachings. We ask this in your name. Amen}

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

MY SILENT REVERIES
writing is my passion. i created silent reveries years ago to vent out things i could not tell the world. it was my private, modern tech approach to scribbling my thoughts and emotions in a journal. in here, i can feely be who i am. i could cry my woes, i can love freely, i can grieve over a broken heart, i can celebrate the joys in my heart, i can rejoice with my accomplishments, i can tell stories of remarkable friendships and unforgettable connections i made with extraordinary people SECRETLY AND SILENTLY without worrying people might judge me. i hid under the name PINAY FREESTYLE.

but eventually, some people gained access to my secret place. so i opened my doors to them in the purpose that i could inspire them: to be better versions of themselves and to share themselves to the world. slowly, i embraced my readers as a part of my life. i welcomed the strange idea that my untold life stories and unconcealed revelations could be of help to others, to love and accept themselves as they are. and i, i came out from the animosity. i eventually became just the regular LEN - the nickname my family & friends call me.

i developed stories of love, of letting go, of falling in love all over again. i made great friendships. but if there's one thing i was particularly proud of, it was my undenying love for the LORD. i wrote and made soul searching, heart wrenching entries i entitled, "SPIRITUAL REVERIES" which you will find many here. it was my productive way to heal myself from twinge and while i am at it, i could also mend others spirits along the way and bring them back up to par with their faith and relationships with God. it has not stop there. it's still a constant journey.

and so, for as long as i can, i vowed to tell my memorable reflections,i have unmasked the hidden me. and the seeking and searching of life's meaning and purpose is not over. LIFE is a long road of discovering. and i still yet to discover many wonders of this world and satisfy my unending curiosity. but be warned. you can either love me or hate me. but i don't care. this is me: sripped and bare as i can be.

so i invite you into my chaotic unperfect world. join me in my whirlwind new travels of diving into the unknowns. let me share my life with you all over again. come in, as i tell you my SILENT REVERIES.

love,
len


DISCOVER ME: who is the lady behind the blogs?



"I want to have a personal light, the glow of oneself that comes from sheer willpower, the light of someone who has made important sacrifices in the name of things I think are important."

---Paulo Coelho's "Eleven Minutes"

my name is len. people always tend to judge me without discovering who i really am. i might look intimidating, a typical shop girl, and i act like a crazy party girl on the weekend. but i actually have brains. and i own an even bigger heart. the truth is, beyond the louis vuitton bags, beyond the lavish parties, the excessive passion to travel and the desire to get to know the world, if you got to know the REAL ME, i am really just a simple girl. my only desire is to be loved for who i am.

"









REACH ME if you want to get to know me better, if you want to share your thoughts, if you want to be my friend, don't hesitate: you can find me at


::EMAIL ME @ AOL::
:: EMAIL ME @ GMAIL
::FACEBOOK::
::AOL IM: XLENDCX::
::yahoo: YM::
::MYSPACE::
PREVIOUS POSTS
{once again, adapted from vince. it's meaningful. ...
{note: this was adapted from vince' s blog. it was...
i miss youi was just thinking of you. i was hoping...
GIVE ME 1[NOTE:i found this from one of my guy's f...
fallenon the was home from diane's house, this son...
STANDING10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 !!!! HAPPY N...
AFRAID FOR LOVE TO FADE Sung by: Lea Salonga Com...
The Man On The StreetNoche Buena (Christmas Eve Di...
SPIRITUAL REVERIE: secret texterThis is going to b...
SPIRITUAL REVERIES: watermelons and tamarindsit ha...


DAILY DOSE OF ME my other blogs: in case, you're not tired of me yet =)


::GOOD THINGS::
life is all about appreciating the simple things

::YACKETY YACKS::
pinay chatter box: much ado about nothing =)

CONTRIBUTIONS articles and works i've done for other e-zines through the years




binibini.org: KEYCHAIN
binibini.org: FAREWELL
binibini.org: SA GITNA NG GABI

HABITUATE fellow bloggers who keeps me entertained and sane




::ernie::
::joyce::
::eric ahn::
::pammy::
::champuru::
::maldito/glenn::
::mica::
::tintin::
::batjay::
::rijah::
::carol::
::christine::

ADDICTION these are a few of my favorite things...




::louis vuitton::
::ugg australia::
::armani exchange::
::h & m::
::banana republic::
::target::
PAMPER ME in this stressful world, i need relaxation. places i hibernate to and hide away from the world. here are some of my favorite spots.




::olympic spa::
::pho siam thai spa::
:: raya spa::
::japanese garden::
::redondo beach::

FREQUENTS embracing life in los angeles: a day in a life in my shoes



::monte carlo cafe::
::THE GROVE::
::coffee bean::
::barnes and noble::
::starbucks::

GOBBLE GOBBLE [L.A.STYLE] food over matter los angeles style =)




::todai::
::sanamluang::
::hodori::
::alcove::
::portos::
::mayflower::
::tommy's::
::roscoe's::
::philippes::
::thai bbq::
::the pantry::
::pinks::
::koji's::
::kabuki::

QUERRIES i don't know everything. so these are the sites i go to answer my inquisitive inquiries, obtain html coldes, and upload my pictures.




::google::
::yahoo::
::ask::
::photobucket::
::blogger::

ARCHIVES