to the love of my life (dimsum),
you once told me you read this blog about my stories of love and brokenheartedness. you said, i really am in too deep when I am inlove. those were stories i wrote out of brokenheartedness. then i stopped writing after i met you. i've written stories about you here. but perhaps not as intense. why? because i was protecting you. I was protecting my privacy with you. Nonetheless, I was proud to tell the world hjow much i love you.
truth is, i don't know how to tell the world how much i love you. there is no love story greater than i had with you. you are, by far, God's greatest gift to me. You loved me at my very best and you understood me in my worst.
I know, it's not easy to love me. I am stubborn, opinionated, easily-angered, controlling individual. It was also hard to let anyone in my world because i have been betrayed so many times. I was scared to fall inlove because I was scared to be hurt again.
Then you came along. You melted my cold, icy heart. With you, i let my guard down and i let you in my heart. At that time, I thought I could not love anymore, you came along and taught me how to love again.
We had a little fall out three weeks ago. It was one of our most difficult misunderstanding ever. I was about to have a procedure the following day and all I thought was you. You have not checked on me that day when you usually do.
That was when I realized, I don't think I can survive a day without you. You've given rainbows to my dull, blank everydays. Suddenly, my days became empty. my days are painted in pitch dark black.
When I saw you, I just wanted to hold you close to me, to look into your eyes when you talk to me, to hold your hand, to feel your warmth of your hugs, to feel how much you loved me. And I see in your eyes, the void to look at me and the cold shivers from your hugs.
MPerhaps, it is my fault. I've been mean and angered and I said things that hurt your feelings. They might have pushed you away. I am trying so hard to win you back. I am trying so hard just to have a glimpse of you. I'm still trying.
I told you, until the last breath of my life, I will keep trying. I will try even if if takes me all of my lifetime. Why? Because I know this journey with you, to love you and be loved by you was worthied. I took the risk the first time. It has been three years and a half, I am willing to take that risk again.
I love you more than words wil ever say. But I hope you always forgive me for my mood swings, my inconsistencies, my imperfections and all my shortcomings.
I am here...waiting for you to shower me with your love again.
For the mean time, I will see you in my dreams...where I can hold you close filled with love.
Always,
Your Princess.
LETTER TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Friday, April 08, 2011
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