The past few months, I vowed to live each day of my life to the fullest. I travelled the thirty seven states out of the 50 states of the United States the past weeks. I have robbed shoulders with every ethnicity and met new wonderful friends from Europe, Asia and all over. I told in my status that I have circled more than one half of the world and I have a little less than half to see the rest of it. And I am determined more than ever to see each corner.
This week was extra special because I am with my complete family. Your Tito LA is back from New York and his world tour with his dance company and his gigs from The Juilliard School. And the Labor Day weekend was just a cherry on top. Although, having that one on one and up close and personal time with Shamu at Sea World probably brings me back to being a child. How I wish I shared that with you. You, too will enjoy the waters as much as I do. And anywhere where there is a beach, it seems like paradise for me.
Yesterday, I got a call from the school I have been eyeing on. You know, Medical Field is a difficult area to penetrate. And it takes a lot of heart and soul to be someone in healthcare. Nursing was not my preference of choice at first. I wanted to be a pilot, join the Airforce and fly an airplane. But your grandfather hesitated to send me during the hype of the Gulf War. So I opted for nursing because it made your Lola/Grana Belen happy that I am following her footsteps as she was a devoted Registered Nurse. And grandpa/Lolo Bert, though he did not finished all the way because he had to be the father and the primary breadwinner when your great grandfather Lolo Adring/ the late Mayor Adriano was set to jail during the Marcos Regime in the Philippines, he went to Medical School and was supposed to become a Doctor. So, weirdly, being a healthcare professional lied in my genes.
At first, I hesitated. The tedious learning of Biology and Science annoyed me. The busy schedule of being a nurse scared me because I watched my own Mom always doing twelve hours graveyard shifts and struggled with quality time for us. But God places us in situations we never plan because we were always meant to be there without even realizing. In short, I have learned to love being in the Nursing profession. No robots can replace the tender loving care of a nurse. And one has to have the heart. And I think I've got that.
And now, there's a higher calling to pursue Medical School. I've learned from the school yesterday that I can attain that and do that in just couple of years. And I am now on their pathway program accrediting all that I have taken in college and achieving becoming a Doctor. My transcripts are on its way and it's both a scary and an exciting process. And I will be meeting with the Medical School Panel come September 19th. Can I do this? I'm with your Tito Allan now and he is quite far because of the demands of his job but I'm sure he will be forever supportive of my goals. Will I be able to juggle it? If I do, will he wait for me to become a doctor and then we can pursue our dreams of marriage and family? I don't know the answer.
The passion to travel took over me once again. My greatest goal is to do a Medical Mission to Vietnam because that reminds me of you. I told your Tita Balot, my bestfriend, that I was not able to save my own son's life. God had to take you back. But I asked God why He puts me in a place that I have to be someone saving other people's lives. It's ironic. But you know, God only knows His plans for us. And being His faithful servant, I would have to follow my heart.
I don't know where the roads lead. Your Auntie Bel, my big sister, encouraged me to pursue my gift of writing or what she calls my "Shakespearean." Writing will always have a special place in my heart. Who knows? I might purpose a double Doctorate degree advancing my ComArts and English Lit degree and a Medical profession? Life is full of surprises. As all I can us to savor it in.
Although, grief and morning of losing you still impedes my soul and breaks my heart in half, I ought to be thankful for the experience of being your mother once. How I wished you lived so I can show you how wonderful of a mom I could have been. When I see two year olds running around, I could not help but think you and what it could have been. I would have been a great mom because I practically raised my siblings and your cousins Ischa and Ichad. I was ready for you, my son if I knew you were in my womb. But I know you are happy in heaven. And God is taking great care of you.
I just missed you. And all that I have now was because you made me realize life can turn in a split second. And even though you are an angel in heaven now, all that I am, all that I have, all that I have been and all that I am yet to be is because of you. You have given me another perspective and inspiration in life. My dreams slowly unfolding. My travels are rewarding. Yet sometimes it still inadequate. It is still not sufficient. Why? Because I wanted to share these journey with you, my angel son.
But we will get there. When I see you in heaven, I will be able to share my stories and I will tell you all about it. Right now, I get to share it here with you and my avid readers as I write about it. Someday, we will have our time together. For the meantime, dream with me, travel with me, guide me and always watch over me.
I miss you and I love you, my baby son, Simon Hung, my angel in heaven.
Until we meet again.
Love,
your Mama Len
posted by pinay freestyle @ 11:05 AM
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